#resigning myself to the fact i am gonna have to pack up my life AGAIN

[bluestjayy]

Since I don't have twitter rn for mental health reasons this app has become my venting space so rip you guys

[stucknthemiddleff]

Safe P1. 1.15

Spotless Mind - Jhene Aiko

Mask Off (Remix) - Future

Loyalty - Kendrick Lamar Ft. Rihanna

Love Gon Go - Chris Brown

Stuck N The Middle

June•

Dana

Double checking that I had all my toiletries in my all black leather pull string book bag, I walked out of the bathroom in the hall. Going back into my room, my eyes interlocked with Cari's light grayish and green colored ones. Sadness in her pout at me, I couldn't help but to make my way over and sit next to her on my bed.

Wrapping my arms around her I kissed the side of her head. She smelled like her favorite bath and body works fragrance as usual. Burnt vanilla caramel, which means she was probably going to see Bryson later. She only wore it for him and had different smells for when she was hanging out with me or going to work. It also let me know she wasn't taking me leaving all too well, although she tried masking it.

Doing a small snort she did a big sigh, "You're really leaving me, I thought we were going on vacation together?"

"We still can, I just need to see different sights for a while babe." I told her, with all honesty. Never would I tell her or Cooper, but their faces reminded me of Calen since I knew that he was their brother. Every smile, frown, all of it reminded me of him and I just needed to get away. I didn't want Cari to take it the wrong way, so I didn't tell her. But I held off on the drinking a bit, just to give her a peace of mind.

"You called your job already?" She asked.

"Yeah." I nodded at her. In all honesty I had quit my job. It was a last minute decision, and maybe it was unprofessional for me to just tell my boss I was ready to resign, but it needed to be done. I had saved up enough money to maybe find something else by the end of the summer.

Knowing Erin I wouldn't have to worry about money all while with her, she could be controlling when it came to me trying to purchase stuff on my own in the past.

I was miserable and would wait until I came back to Atlanta to tell Cari, knowing she would go ballistic if I told her now. I just hoped this trip with Erin would help my mind, and I would still try go see my mom. I already knew that was going to be a whole different battle, especially if I showed up with Erin.

"You want me to take you to the airport?" She asked me snuggling my side. Feeling myself tighten my arms around her, I hoped she didn't feel it in an alarming way.

"Uh, nah I'm having a taxi come pick me up in like thirty minutes." I told her, not really knowing how my transportation was really set up. I hadn't even called Erin yet, here I am packing.

"Oh, okay." She blinked a few times at me, before looking down at her hands playing with her fingers.

"I love you." I spoke sincerely making her eyes connect with mine. Cari smiled, showing a little of her and Calen. They had to all have their fathers smile, I was sure of it.

"I love you too." She replied pulling me into a hug, "I'm gonna go see Bryson, tonight isn't gonna feel right being here alone."

"Yeah sucks you're allergic to dogs and cats huh, at least to have a pal here while I'm gone." I told her and she laughed at me.

"Bryson has wanted to get me a dog so many times," She shook her head with a playful scowling expression, "Mostly just to keep it at his condo."

"There are other animals to adore Car." I told her and she just shook her head again.

"I'll let Bryson figure that out, for now he's my only baby." She shrugged at me.

"Yeah." I nodded, looking down at my lap. The fact that I was confused on who was and who I wanted to be my baby pained me. So badly I wish I could tell Cari about it, but eventually she would know. For now I wasn't going to tell her that I was contemplating on taking Erin back. But it was easier than being depressed about someone who I thought really loved me, who up and left without any explanation.

At least Erin came back and explained herself, but I wasn't waiting around for Calen to do that shit. He was a chapter in my life for only a week and a half to help me get my girlfriend back. Even with his abrupt departure painfully cutting me, I was still grateful to him. Was that sick?

"Dana, are you crying?" Cari asked knocking me out of my zoned state, I looked over at her shaking my head while lifting my right hand. My fingertips making contact with my lower right eyelid, indeed it was wet.

"Oh shit, look Car your sadness starting to rub off on me." I joked, but Cari just stared at me sadly.

"Dana-"

"I'm going to do a double check on everything I have and meet you downstairs okay?" I quickly cut off anything she was about to say. I was done crying completely. It was time for me to go and I needed to make that phone call.

"Yeah, sure." Cari did a small smile standing slowly to her feet from my bed. Walking to my doorway she gave me one last look before exiting out into the hall. Once I was sure she was far away from hearing me, I dialed Erin.

After two rings someone picked up, "Hello?"

"If your offer is still on the table, I'm-"

"Say no more love, I'll send a car right away to take you to the airstrip." She spoke happily in my ear. Whenever Erin got what she wanted, you could tell it through her tone. Yeah I was spending time with her to get my mind off of Calen, but that was it.

~

The sun shined bright through one of the jets left side windows, clouds looking like cotton we passed by. Even with being over twenty thousand feet in the air, I still felt tugging on my body. At least by now I would have thought that my mind would start to clear.

Erin cleared her throat softly throwing me out my thoughts, "What you thinking about over there?"

Locking my eyes with her grey pupils I saw curiousity in them, "Nothing."

I smiled at her small looking back out the window.

"Does Cari know you're with me?" She asked lowly, taking a sip out of her champagne flute.

"No, she wouldn't understand." I responded looking back over at her lifting an eyebrow by my response.

"That she wouldn't." Erin nodded in agreement, turning to her left she picked up another glass off the side table of her seat, handing it to me. Taking the glass I stared down at it, suddenly remembering the last time I drunk alcohol.

"I'm just glad you decided to come." Erin spoke making me raise my eyes to the soft grin on her face.

"Yeah," I nodded, "Me too."

Standing up out her seat, she came and sat in my chair, moving her free left hand up my bare right thigh that my light grey dress didn't cover. Moving it away with my right hand I looked into her eyes, hers got a confused look in them.

"I can't touch you?" She asked in offense.

"I'm just not ready for that again yet Erin." I told her. Turning her head to the side a little she licked over her bottom lip looking away.

"I bet you let him touch you, huh?" She asked with grit, shocking me. I looked over at the side of her face in disgust.

"Why would you ask that?" I asked in disbelief making her scoff before taking another sip of her glass.

"So its true, wow," She shook her head with a smile looking over at me, "You let him fuck too?"

"Erin, do not push me, I'm warning you. I came with you because you asked, not to get asked a million questions about something that's over." I warned her in a stern tone, she stood up out my seat fixing her lips about to say something. One of the pilots entered into the pit from the sliding door to the front of the jet.

"We will be arriving in ten minutes." He informed us before closing the door back, after getting a nod from Erin. She put her sights back on me finishing the rest of the glass.

"So I guess that mean you did have sex with him," She continued and I shook my head.

"You know I have only went that far with you, because I trusted you." I replied taking a sip of my glass. Even though I had let Erin use the sex strap on me in the past it never really felt like I had lost my virginity. It had been so long ago too, thinking about us being that close right now was too much. Especially with my heart cut in half. Something about being with Calen made me feel more like I was doing stuff for the first time. Erin and I really didn't do much stuff sexual, and this conversation just made me think of Calen and how he handled me so different.

"Hmm, so what you let him do?" She asked making me take a deep sigh. These questions weren't fucking helping either.

"It doesn't matter, he and I are over and I'm here with you." I spoke matter of factly, "Can we act like it?"

"Well I don't know, you won't even let me touch you Dana." She replied back at me crossing her arms over her chest slowly.

"I say again, that I'm just not ready okay?" I told her and she squinted her eyes, shrugging her shoulders.

"Fine. It's time to get ready to land though." She told me as I nodded downing the rest of my champagne that didn't taste anything in comparable to the last I had enjoyed more.

I missed him so much, and so far this trip was not helping me forget about him. If this didn't work, I didn't know what would.

~

Calen

Taking a strong pull from the fat blunt in between my fingers, my vision before me of the sunny New York skyline afternoon put me at ease. Just a little bit, I fixed the glasses on my face. My eyes had been to irritated lately for me to wear my contacts. My nigga Lupe and I discussed the plans for tonight's convention while catching up on the patio of his top floor studio hideout. Used only for going over plans and entertaining women. It was a nice spot I had to admit, the view of the city couldn't be any better.

"You know you owe me right?" Lupe spoke breaking me out my thoughts, he took the blunt back from me as we sat side by side in his long beach chairs. He took advantage of the soft sun on his uncovered upper body, while I decided not to. Didn't need the women here getting the wrong fuckin' idea.

"I know I do, whatever you need in the future I got you." I told him, and it was nothing but sincerity. This job we were pulling out tonight would put a lot of his people at risk. They were ready only by loyalty, the same that matched for me with anything he needed.

"Well something's already came up Cal. There's this crew, new shit trying take over a block of mine. I mean I got rookies set up to show what they are worth, but they need someone real from the ropes to teach them what we do to niggas that don't realize what block they fuckin' with." He told me, puffing on the L.

"I gotchu." I nodded at him looking over at the view of the city again.

"Think you could handle that for me?" He asked and I nodded.

He smiled sitting up in his chair, "Good shit."

Holding out his fist, I dapped mine with his as we heard footsteps that sounded like high heels clacking coming our way.

"Damelo papi chulo." A Latina female looking like a china doll with a curvy body spoke leaning on the back of Lupe's back kissing his neck. With only a black lace bra on, one of her breast slid out the cup barely showing a nipple.

"Ay, don't you see two men here talking business woman?" He told her taking a puff of the blunt before handing it back to me, "Go on I'll be there in a minute."

Sucking her teeth with a grimace at the back of his head, she leaned up off of him fixing her bra, looking my way quickly she winked at me showing pretty teeth as I blew the smoke out my lungs. I smiled quickly looking away, already knowing what that look meant. Then she walked away slowly, the sound of her footsteps departing.

"I'm about to go blow off some steam before we do this shit tonight, you should do the same with Tabitha and not go back to that fuckin' hotel room." Lupe advised me, standing to his feet.

"I'm chillin man." I shrugged taking another hit.

Lupe laughed, "Why I got a feeling this shit over a female man."

"I told Zeus the same thing. It's bigger than that." I replied, Lupe chuckled again standing up out his chair.

"It's over a female, because the womanizing Calen Rodriguez I know....nigga." Lupe joked, I laughed at his silly ass.

"I'm cool man." I told him and he shook his head.

"Well, mi casa is tu casa." He spread his arms before departing leaving me, "As long as you invite me to the wedding mothafucka."

"Ha," I cracked up at his stupid ass, "Thanks man." I yelled, taking another hit, thinking about how I would be glad when everything was over. My mind always fantasizes about fast forwarding time when you finally get to the moment where you ready to be.

That's all I wanted, and just had to be patient for it. For now I would just smoke and get ready for tonight. Standing up out my chair, I went and leaned against the balcony hearing foot steps approach behind me.

"Hey Tabitha." I spoke not turning around already knowing it was her. Eventually she came and stood about two or three feet beside me.

"Calen, its good to see you again." She spoke with her deep latin accent. Her and I had some fun in the past but that was then and this is now.

"Yeah you too, still beautiful." I complimented looking over at her, in only a see through bath robe.

"Aye, careful with the compliments." She warned me looking in my eyes with lust in them. Being three years older than me, when I was seventeen, Tabitha took my virginity on a visit I took to visit Lupe for business years ago, and every once in a while when I came to New York she didn't let me down. But my heart was locked and sealed making me not want that anymore.

"Yeah yeah." I breathed throwing the roach in my hand now over the balcony. She came closer to me looking down at my neck.

"Whose Dana?" She asked and I hadn't realized my necklace had came from underneath my shirt. Backing away from her I smiled taking one of her hands. While my other hand put my gold chain back under my front shirt collar.

"No one." I kissed her hand softly before letting it go, "Tell Lupe not to tire himself out too much for our event tonight."

Tabitha looked over my face and had a big smile come across hers, "You're in love Calenito."

"I don't know what you talking about." I breathed giving her a serious look. She crossed her arms over her chest looking me up and down.

"Denial." She called after me. Ignoring her I took a deep breath making sure I had my phone on me still.

Exiting out the studio I decided to call my mother knowing I couldn't put off not talking to her about what was going on. But I knew I couldn't right now especially with being high as fuck. My phone rung in my pocket, I took it out showing that Cari was calling me. With it being months since I talked to her I knew she was about to cuss me out and blow my high.

"Yes Cari." I answered getting into my all black Benz I only drove around in for my business in NYC.

"I just want to say thank you Calen, "She started with a sniffle, "Thanks for driving my best friend away."

"Cari what are you talking about?" I asked her in alarm closing my car door once inside. What she mean drove Dana away?

"Oh now you want to act like you care huh? She hadn't heard from you in two months Calen!" She screamed in the phone at me, my high gone after all that smoking with Lupe.

"Cari! Tell me what the fuck you mean, is Dana there with you?" I asked in seriousness looking at the constant traffic going past me on the street.

"Don't worry about where she is just know it's all your fucking fault!" She screeched, making me worried now.

"Cari, is she in Atlanta!" I yelled and before I could say anything else, she hung up in my face. What the fuck?

~

"You know where she went Coop?" I asked him while I paced back and forth in my hotel room.

"Nah, Cari won't tell me nothing." He told me.

"Fuck, you were supposed to keep your eye on both of them!" I yelled at him. My whole calm composure was non existent, Dana was out somewhere with who knows who, and could've lied to Cari about where she was.

"Calen, listen to me take a deep breath. What's going on in New York man, is more important right now. I'll try and get something out of Cari, just focus on what you gotta do and bring that bitch down bro." Cooper advised me. But all I kept thinking about was Dana being alone somewhere.

"Find her Cooper." I ordered to him before hanging up. Sitting on my bed I rubbed the sides of my head, trying not to over think. Where was she?

~

Dana

"You look beautiful." Erin commented behind me as I looked in the full body mirror at myself, and all I wanted was a drink of something strong. We were staying at the Continental and it looked more like a townhouse in my opinion.

"Thanks." I breathed looking into her eyes, analyzing her tuxedo she wore with ease.

"Hey I was thinking, that maybe while I'm here. Maybe take some time to go see my mother." I told her and Erin's eyes lit up, "And I want you to come with me."

"Of course." She shook her head coming towards me she kissed my lips softly, placing her right hand to to the left of my waist. Breaking out of kiss she smiled, with a big grin.

"Great." I smiled at her, "Is it time to go?"

"Yes, come on babe." She replied taking my hand leading me out our hotel room. Riding in the limo briefly we made our way through the early night of New York. The sooner I had a glass in my hand, the sooner I knew I didn't have to worry about all the pain I had went through the past two months. Mingling with rich folks, that seemed like the perfect distraction right? Lights flashed left and right as I gripped Erin's hand a little tighter. This was a very huge newsworthy a consummation between four different big multimillion dollar companies, that all wanted to make more money by working together. Erin briefly told me about it on the jet, that I honestly wondered who was the mastermind behind it all. That and the fact that it was a mask convention, but that was good for me. I didn't none of there photographers taking my picture anyways. That and the fact that it might be on TV and my mom would see me. Once inside the ballroom it was elegance in every corner of the huge building. You could almost compare it to an adult cotillion. My mask made it slightly harder to breathe fully but, my surroundings seriously made me not want to take it off. There was a grand table with silver silverware probably more than expensive than this all black gucci dress that Erin had me in. Sitting down with Erin, there was a caucasian man speaking in a very nice tuxedo while people quietly mingled amongst themselves. People at the bar all in masks, it kind of freaked me out.

"Are you alright baby, want a drink?" Erin asked beside me.

"Yes, please." I spoke to her, she nodded standing up out of her seat leaving me alone at the table with people I didn't know. A few minutes passed as I just looked around and some bodies in the area just didn't look right or maybe I was tripping. Coming back with my drink Erin sat next to me and the next thing I heard was a loud boom.

"What the?-" Erin yelled before masked men grabbed her knocking her upside the head and another guy almost tried to grab me also but I ran in my heels. Everyone else in the building in a flurry back and forth, dazed by the confusion someone knocked into me, my mask falling to the floor.

Looking around through all the bodies as gunfire continued I saw only one thing that kept me still. In an all black tuxedo and a gun in his black glove covered hand a glistening bracelet on his wrist, he looked like he saw death looking at me through his matching mask.

Before I could have thought of a next move someone knocked me to the floor. Thinking I was about to die, a strong hand grabbed my left arm pulling me from the floor. I was being pulled through to a back room, and out the back of the building.

I was pushed into a car in the backseat and the car suddenly drove off. I was being kidnapped and no one would even know where I was. The only thing Cari had was that I was coming to New York to visit my mom, but that was only half truth. Was this my end? The masked guy didn't look my way, or say a single word. Scared to fight that he might shoot me, I remained silent.

We came up to a hotel building as I stayed staring down at my lap. Knowing yelling wouldn't help, I just decided to listen to anything my kidnappers said. It was like every decision I had ever made led me to this point. Why didn't I just stay in Atlanta with Cari? The masked man gripped me tight as we exited the lobby to the elevator and I felt uneasy. I didn't know if I wanted to throw up or pass out. My feet hurt now from running in my heels, to now standing for more than I intended in these shoes.

"Cooper, get Cari now and y'all get on the jet to the airstrip now." The familiar voice demanded, making me raise my head to look at the mysterious figure in front of me. Raising his hand the guy took his mask off, eyes blazing with what looked like anger. Still handsome and the look of dominance in his expression Calen stared with confusion at me.

"Dana, what the fuck are you doing here?" He yelled at me while the elevator dinged letting us know we were at the appropriate floor.

I could ask him the same thing.

~~

Thanks For Reading!😍

[themadlostgirl]

When It’s Cold (4)

*I reiterate: horny teens are horny and stupid teens are stupid. Short but somewhat smutty chapter ahead.*

~~~

I woke with small relief the next morning to the central heating being turned back on. I swung out of bed and started getting ready for the day. I had half convinced myself that the kiss between Felix and I last night had been a dream. If it had been a dream though it would have ended a lot nicer than it actually had. Maybe with us keeping each other warm in a big cushy bed. But no. Felix had to kiss me and run. Selfish, heart mangling, prick!

After my shower I got dressed and went downstairs to grab some breakfast. What I found in the kitchen was not the cold cereal I had resigned myself to. There was a plate of fresh piping hot waffles, eggs, bacon, toast with butter and jellies, a tall glass of juice, and a warm cup of tea made the way I preferred. Felix was at the sink cleaning the dishes he had used to make this grand breakfast.

“Don’t just gawk at it,” he said over his shoulder, “Sit down and eat before it goes cold.”

“But how did…”

“This is the same time you come down for breakfast everyday.” He answered. “Like I said, don’t stare at it going cold. Eat something.”

“Right,” I picked up a piece of toast to nibble on. “You made all of this for me?”

“Yes,” he nodded, his gaze stuck to the dishes he was washing. “I figured it was the least I could do after yelling at you last night.”

“Wow,” I scoffed, “Didn’t think you’d actually admit it happened. I figured you’d avoid me all day.”

“Something you said last night resonated with me.” He shrugged, “Besides, there’s no use hiding from you since we live together.”

“What’s sparked this sudden change?” I tore into my perfectly fluffy waffles.

“It’s the same reason I came to Storybrooke with you in the first place.” He turned off the water and finally looked at me, “I don’t want to lose you.”

“Felix…”

“Stop staring at me like that.” He groaned. His cheeks were red and I stifled a laugh. “I meant what I said last night...up until I ran away from you that is. And what you said about how we don’t have to worry about what anyone else thinks struck a chord with me. There is no one here to judge us. I don’t have to worry that someone may think I’m going soft because I...I…”

“You what?”

“I like you. I really like you. I think I liked you even before we left Neverland. It’s the reason I followed you out here.” A smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. “You’re fun and funny and smart and fierce. These past several weeks with you have been some of the happiest I’ve ever been simply because you’ve been next to me. I was scared of that feeling but I don’t want to be. I just want you.”

I stood up. Felix was still staring at the ground. “But I was a jerk to you and I understand if you don’t want anything to do with me anymore but I wanted to tell you--”

“Felix,” I tilted his head up to look at me, “I like you, idiot.”

“You do?” His eyebrows knit together, “Really? Even after last night?”

“I was prepared to be mad at you today but then you made me a nice breakfast and had an open and sincere conversation with me so I’m feeling forgiving.” I giggled. “Do you want to know how you can make it up to me even more though?”

“How?” He asked, a disbelieving but dorky smile adorning his face.

“Kiss me again.”

Felix closed the distance between us. The kiss was a lot more gentle than last night. When I didn’t push him away he went in for another. His lips softly caressing my own. His hands held my face. The soft short kisses slowly giving way to the passion and heat from last night. We were pulling each other closer. My back was pressed slightly against the countertop keeping me from falling.

We pulled back breathless and smiling. I sat back down to finish my breakfast despite it going cold. A small price to pay for what I got out of it.

For the rest of the day Felix was not far from my reach. Every so often no matter what we were doing he was turning my face to his and kissing me breathless once more. He lavished kisses to my neck as well as my lips. Sucking bruises onto my skin that had me whining and writhing. He was in love with the noises I was making when he kissed my neck so he made sure to do it often.

I tested my own hand at it and Felix damn near broke me in half with how hard he squeezed me when I sucked a bruise onto his neck. I was scared at first that he didn’t like it before he told me to do it again.

All those dirty dreams and lewd fantasies I had been having seemed closer than ever. I wasn’t sure if Felix on the same level as me though. I was ready for him to slam me up against the nearest wall and fuck me senseless this morning and it was only getting worse throughout the day. Sooner or later I was gonna have to woman up and see how he felt about sex but I figured give it a few days before dropping that suggestion. We had just admitted that we liked each other. Christening every inch of his mansion may be a little too much too soon. But god did I want it!

~~~

Felix rode into town on your bike after lunch. He claimed that he needed to pick up an ingredient for dinner but in truth that was just an excuse to burn off some energy and do some secret shopping of his own.

This morning had gone better than he had hoped for. When he decided to make breakfast he thought of it as a peace offering gift. A metaphorical white flag to let you know that he didn’t want to fight with you. Then you two started talking and he started saying things he was planning on saving for when he was more sure he was in your good books again.

But you surprised him. You forgave him. You liked him! You asked him to kiss you. He spent the entire day wrapped in your embrace exploring every inch of skin he felt that he could get away with. He wanted to see more. Do more. Be more for you. Wanted to please you in every way that he could. Ravish you.

When you had sucked that hickey onto his neck he was this close to bending you over the coffee table and fucking the life out of you. But he remained in control. You may have forgiven him and even confessed that you liked him but that didn’t mean you were ready or even willing to let him into your bed. When and if that day ever came though he wanted to be prepared.

He grabbed a few groceries you were running low on as well as a pack of condoms. He had passed by them once or twice on other grocery runs. He knew he was old enough to not have to be embarrassed about it but his cheeks were definitely pink as the cashier lady rung up his items.

When he got home he quickly stashed the box in his bedside drawer and got to making dinner. He had already planned on making your favorite in case breakfast didn’t work out. Now it was just another sign to show you how much he really did care about you. Cause he did. Felix cared about you so much. He wasn’t sure if it was love. He for sure liked you and at this point he called you his best friend but love was something he had never experienced before and he figured it was too soon to call anything between you two love yet.

He loved the way your eyes lit up when he presented dinner to you. You jumped up and down and pulled him down for a quick kiss before sitting down for your meal. The pair of you stayed up longer watching crappy late night TV before you started to nod off. Felix made sure to get you back up to your own room so you could sleep comfortably.

He wanted to give you your space but since confessing how he felt about you he had gotten a little clingy. Night after night of laying alone in his big empty room in his big empty bed he found that he missed. It had only been a couple hours and you were right down the hall and he missed you. He really was gone for you. Just a few days of making out together and he couldn’t stay away from you.

Resigning himself to the fact that he wasn’t going to get much sleep anyways he left his room to go see if you were still awake. There were nights you stayed up late, maybe you would be.

He stopped outside your door. There was no light shining underneath but he thought he could hear you inside. Felix was being a creep. He shouldn’t be out here listening for you just cause he suddenly can’t handle being more than five feet away from you now.

“I am pathetic.” He muttered to himself as he started to shuffle away. Then, out of the stillness of the dark he heard your voice. He went back to the door. Were you awake after all? He pressed his ear to the door trying to hear better.

“Fuck…” he heard your muffled voice, “God--fuck--yes!”

Your voice shot straight to his cock. You were awake and you were moaning.

He should leave. He should really leave. It was inappropriate to come around like a helpless pup in the first place but staying to listen to you moan as you pleasured yourself was the actions of a pervert. Didn’t mean he couldn’t take the memory of those moans back to his own room for his own enjoyment though.

“Fuck, Felix!” You moaned louder and Felix suddenly found himself rooted to his spot.

You were pleasuring yourself whilst thinking about him. You were just beyond this door imagining it was him giving you this pleasure. Felix’s cock was straining against his pajama pants aching to be touched. He wanted to go in there and make whatever dirty fantasies you were envisioning real. He wanted to make you moan louder, scream his name so that everyone in Storybrooke knew who was responsible for making you feel so good. Fuck, he really wanted that.

Walk away.

Walk away.

Walk away!

“Fuck it.” Felix gave in as he braced his back against your door.

He wouldn’t go in. He didn’t want to scare you with his desires no matter how much they seemed to align with your own. But he would indulge in the sweet sounds of your moans even if it did make him feel like a pervert for doing it.

He freed his cock from his pants and closed his eyes as he focused in on your voice. The image of you laying on your bed buck naked and legs spread wide. Your hand between your legs as you pumped your finger in and out. Fuck, the thought that that was really happening just on the other side of this door almost had him cumming right then.

He made the image better though. He imagined his hands between you instead. His fingers working you into this whining mess as you cursed and clenched around him.

“God yes, fuck,” your voice trickled into his ear and he gripped his cock tighter. “Felix, oh god, Felix yes!”

He licked his lips. He could practically smell the arousal on you now. How badly he wanted to taste it. He wanted to hook your legs over his shoulder and devour your cunt. Feel the wet juice trickle down his chin as he ate you out. Your hands in his hair holding him there as he brought you to the edge.

“Fuck me,” Your moans were getting louder, “Oh god, fuck me. Fuck me!”

He would. God he would. He would bury himself in you and never leave. He imagined your cunt wrapped around him. Squeezing the life out of him as he held your hips down and pounded into you. Drawing out those moans and pleas.

“Felix,” Your voice whined, verging on desperate, “Felix, I’m gonna cum!”

Do it. He begged in his mind as he fucked his fist harder. Cum for me!

“Fuck! Felix! Felix!” You practically screamed. Felix brought a hand up to cover his mouth as his own orgasm hit him. He stayed leaning against the door as the euphoria of the moment washed away with the little whimpers of your orgasm beyond the door.

As enjoyable as the experience was in the moment he looked down at the mess on his hands with disappointment. Masturbating to the girl he liked right outside her door. He really was a pervert.

He quickly retreated back to his room. The echoes of your moans still ringing in his ears. He was hard again within seconds. Damn. If this was how he was acting after only hearing your muffled moaning how was he gonna be if he ever got to actually be with you?

---

(Previous) (Next)

[miracul0us-multishipper]

Welcome to the Back (Part 1)

Next Chapter

@a-6-yearold-inside

A Felinette Fanfic where they never changed seats back after Chameleon, Adrien vs Felix in the next parts

- - -

Adrien was a good friend, if you asked him. Not that he had a lot of experience with friendship, but he’d read a lot about it. He could listen well. He could give advice. He was good at bringing out the best in people, at keeping the peace and harmony of the class. Madame Bustier didn’t call him sunshine boy for nothing!

So when Felix Leanne was announced to be their newest student, he figured he was the perfect candidate to welcome him to class. Sure, they hadn’t really gotten along when they’d last met, but maybe Felix had changed in the last year?

“Hi!”, he greeted as soon as he spotted the boy. “I’m Adrien Agreste. We’ve worked together last summer, remember?”

The older blond stilled and eyed him warily. His eyes were eerily colorless; a cool, distant grey. Adrien shivered a little.

“I do” Felix replied after a moment of silence. Then continued to walk towards class.

Struggling to keep up with his long, measured strides, he followed suit.

“You’ve never been to school either, right?” he tried again. “We’ll be in the same class! Madame Bustier is our home teacher, she’ll probably want you to make a short introduction. Do you want to get to know our classmates? I could introduce you!”

Felix kept his eyes straight ahead, his face was devoid of any emotion. Maybe he was shy? Surely, he’d open up sooner or later.

“That appears to be inevitable.”, was his brisk answer, confirming that the new student would need some time to warm up to them.

Alright then. He could do this!

When they entered the classroom, only a few students were already there. They looked up as soon as Felix walked in, his confident posture attracting attention even before he was fully inside.

“Hey, guys!”, Adrien greeted Nino and Alya, who already looked as if she had a million questions to ask their newbie. “This is Felix Leanne! He’s from Great Britain, we modeled together last year.”

Alya jumped up and held out her hand to him, all but squealing in excitement.

“I’m Alya Césaire, from the Ladyblog! I’ve read so much about you, you were the face of Leanne Fashion’s “Lucky Line”! The posters of you in that Ladybug tie were all over Paris!”

She shoved her phone in his face, probably displaying said ad.

“I’m so excited to meet you!”

Felix wrinkled his nose.

“Please take that out of my face.”

“Oh, right!”

“I’m Nino”, her boyfriend followed up, “Nice to meet you, dude! I’m sure you’re gonna love it here.”

One by one, the other students began to crowd around Felix, greeting him and asking about his life. The answers were short, matter-of-fact and a little bit annoyed if you paid enough attention. Chloé threw one look at him and apparently decided it was best not to mess with him.

“Lila’s going to be so happy to meet you!”, Rose said cheerily, catching Adrien’s attention again. She was directly next to Felix, no chance he might have missed that. “She told us all about you, from when she met you at that Fashion Show in London her parents sponsored.”

Felix frowned and opened his mouth, but Adrien beat him to it.

“Let’s not bother him with work details right now!”, he suggested a little too hastily, and probably an octave above his usual tone of voice. “He’s new to school after all, and I’m sure he hears enough about work at home!”

Felix looked at him with raised eye brows, but didn’t press the matter. Adrien sighed with relief. Another day of successfully keeping the peace of this class.

He looked around, searching for missing faces. Kim was sick with the flu, he wouldn’t come today. Sabrina was with Chloé as usual, Marinette was probably late again and Lila should be here any minute now.

As if on cue, the brunette Italian entered the room just as the other students began to go to their places again. With a winning smile and her usual, confident stride she headed for Felix.

“Oh, hello! You’re Felix Leanne, right? I’m Lila Rossi, I’m sort of new myself.”

The tall blond regarded her with hidden suspicion.

“Aha”

Her eyes roamed over his desk and spotted the thermos in his bag.

“I heard you’re from England!” she beamed. “I lived there for a while, my grandparents are famous for their rare teas. Maybe we could go for a cup after school? There’s not that many places where it’s as good as in Britain, but I happen to know one or two.”

The fact that she hadn’t mentioned any Fashion Show in London confirmed Adrien’s assumption that it had been another lie.

Felix eyed her for a moment, then sat down at the last table in the back.

“I hate tea.”, he deadpanned, before taking out the thermos and pouring him a cup of what was obviously coffee without breaking eye contact with Lila. Adrien swore he could see the gears in her head come to screeching halt.

“O-Oh? What a shame” she caught herself. “Then maybe we could-“

“Good Morning, class!”, Madame Bustier interrupted her attempts. Forced to retreat for now, Lila went to her seat next to him and Adrien followed with a nod. During the lesson she wouldn’t have the opportunity to make up another story, which meant for now, crisis was averted. No exposing Lila, no fights, no trouble. He smiled. Another day of perfect school time, just like he’d always imagined it!

He shouldn’t have been so sure of that. It started when Marinette arrived, just in time for saying “present” as Mme Bustier read her name. Since she’d been sitting in the back for a week now, she’d be Felix desk neighbor. He didn’t think anything of it, but Lila shot her a glare that could’ve been both a warning and a threat. Or maybe he’d misinterpreted it? Maybe she’d just been annoyed that Marinette was late again? Must be it.

Still, Madame Bustier didn’t get the chance to start her lesson when Lila stood up and raised her voice.

“Madame, Felix just arrived! He shouldn’t have to sit in the back by himself, does he?”

Adrien wanted to remind her that no, he wasn’t by himself, Marinette was there too, but remembered just in time the last time they had changed the seats. No, it wouldn’t help to speak up now.

Mme Bustier frowned.

“We only changed the seating order last week.”

Lila wasn’t that easy to shake off however.

“Oh, but you have all welcomed me so sweetly when I first arrived. I couldn’t live with myself if I wouldn’t do the same for Felix.”

She looked down.

“If it weren’t for my disability I’d switch with him myself, but...”

Felix coughed.

“I don’t-“

“Oh, we could go to the back!”, Alya volunteered, drowning out whatever Felix had wanted to say, and pulled Nino’s hand up with her. Lila smiled.

“Really? That’s so nice of you guys!”

“Actually-“ Felix tried again but Lila wasn’t done yet.

“Oh, but what about Marinette? We just unseated her last week, we shouldn’t do so again, right? Would you sit with Marinette in the back?”

“Sure!”, Alya beamed and patted Nino on the shoulder in comfort. “We sat together before, too!”

“I-“

“It’s no big deal, really!”

“Madame Bustier!”, Marinette called out of the blue, with enough force to make the entire class jump. Her hands were planted firmly on the desk and her face was grim. He shot her a concerned glance, trying to remind her of her promise. No exposing Lila.

“Yes, Marinette?” the young teacher answerd, looking startled.

“How about”, Marinette said slowly, locking eyes with Mme Bustier, “we offer Felix the chance I didn’t get the last time, and give him a say in this?”

Surprised, she nodded and looked at her latest student.

“O-Of course, yes. Where would you like to sit, Felix?”

The blond teenager sighed, frustrated.

“I am perfectly fine sitting in the back, thank you very much.”

-

Felix hated school. It was full, it was loud and people just wouldn’t leave him alone. He sighed, remembering the promise he’d made to his mother. She was still in England, but she’d called to make sure he was alright. She wanted him to have this experience, to meet other children and be normal, for a while. It was not like he didn’t appreciate her care! But he really, really wished she would’ve expressed it in other ways. Maybe take him along to one of her incentives or business trip. He was old enough to learn about the company he’d inherit, wasn’t he?

But if it made her happy, he’d try this... school life. He’d make an effort, learn something, and then go back to homeschooling. Preferably sooner than later.

“Present!”, yelled a voice next to him and he looked up. He hadn’t even noticed the girl sliding into the seat next to him, but now she was there. Late, obviously.

He hated unpunctuality.

She smiled at him when she noticed his stare and pushed her book over to him, showing him which page they were at. Otherwise, she didn’t try to interrogate him or make Smalltalk.

Huh. He could appreciate that.

Until that Lila-girl from earlier stood up, he was almost thinking this wouldn’t get so bad after all. But alas, his hopes were shattered once again.

Her repeated attempts at changing the seating were, to his surprise, not shut down by the red-haired teacher. Apparently, he had to get active himself. Great.

He coughed, trying to get their attention.

“I don’t-“

“Oh, we could go to the back!”, the Ladyblog girl, Alya, exclaimed enthusiastically. He blinked. She’d just cut him off. How disrespectful!

Shaking his head, he straightened his back. Maybe she just hadn’t heard him. No need to make a fuss just yet.

“Actually-“ he started again, before being interrupted once again, this time by Lila. His eye twitched.

One more time, he told himself, one more time trying to do it the peaceful way. For Mum. He could still walk out after that.

“I-“ really don’t need to sit in the front, he wanted to say, but his third try was as successful as the other two. He sighed, almost happy. He could go home, finally. Tell Mum he’d tried, but public schools just weren’t his forte. Too unprofessional. Too chaotic. Too...

“Madame Bustier!”, an energetic voice pulled him out of his resignation, just as he was about to pack his bag. It was his desk neighbor, Ms Unpunctual. Could that girl even talk in any volume other than “loud”?

“How about we give Felix the chance I didn’t get, the last time,” she said threateningly slow, and bit bitterly if he wasn’t wrong, “and give him a say in this?”

“Of course” the teacher agreed, apparently remembering that she was supposed to be the authority here. “Where would you like to sit, Felix?”

He sighed.

“I am perfectly fine with sitting in the back, thank you very much!”, he uttered a bit salty.

Lila, frustrated that she was ignored, sat down again and the rest of the class calmed as well.

“You didn’t have to do that”, he clarified to his neighbor as soon as the teacher had turned around. Better make clear that she couldn’t expect any favors or benefits from him. “I’m fully capable of speaking for myself.”

Usually. In a professional environment, at least. He hated having to raise his voice, and apparently, that was the only thing that worked on these savages.

But the girl surprised him yet again by simply shrugging.

“Yeah, I figured. But still.” She looked down, where Lila was currently draping herself all over Agreste. “It can be nice to know someone has your back.”

Maybe he’d imagined it, but she sounded a little bitter at that. He turned back to the teacher, but kept stealing glances at his pigtailed classmate.

He was no stranger to people, not like Agreste had been just a year ago. And other than the younger boy, he didn’t see them through rose colored lenses, and didn’t mind telling them off when they crossed a line. His young age and position as the heir and face of an international fashion empire made him a regular target for people that wanted to profit off of him - his sire included. He couldn’t afford to be as carefree as Adrien, who was constantly monitored by his own terror of a father.

Over the time, Felix had acquired a sixth sense for detecting warning signs of manipulators and people who used others for their own gain. He’d seen them in Lila Rossi, and he’d seen them in his father, but no matter how hard he focused, scrutinized or analyzed... he couldn’t find them in his mysterious classmate.

“I’m Felix”, he eventually whispered, half hoping she wouldn’t hear it. Yet her surprised smile failed to disappoint him, for some reason.

“I’m Marinette. Welcome to the back, I guess.”

- - -

To be continued

[k7l4d4]

Midnight Striga: Fairy Tail/Owl House Cross Fic Episode 6 Part 3

Hello, and once again, welcome to the exciting world of Midnight Striga! Everybody Clap Your Hands!!

Eda easily slipped through the crowd, one of the benefits of being a skilled pickpocket, scanning the faces around her. Her eyes brightened when she finally spotted the girl she was looking for. “Luz!” She called out, signalling the girl over. As Luz spotted Eda in turn, she grinned, sauntering over.

“Hey Eda! How’d your conversation go?” Luz asked casually, hands tucked in her pockets.

Eda gave a confident smirk, expertly holding in the awkwardness she knew was trying to peek through. “Eh, as well as it was gonna go. Still, I think me and Gwen are gonna be fine.” She replied, giving an easy shrug. Things between her and her mother may still be rough, but they now had a starting point to build something healthy. Together.

Luz gave a wistful smile. “Man, that must be nice.” She said, an almost dreamy look to her face, much to Eda’s confusion. Shaking her head, Luz cleared her thoughts. “Anyway, I got to ask something.”

“Fire away.” Eda prompted.

Luz smirked, laughing lightly. “I overheard some kids talking, do you know what this whole Moonlight Conjuring thing is?” She asked, slightly cocking her head.

“Moonlight Conjuring? Pfft! It’s some baby magic ceremony where kids hold hands and try to use the power of the moon to bring something to life.” Eda said dismissively. She had honestly forgotten that it was around that time of year for it. Ugh. She raised an eyebrow at the look of shock Luz had. “What’s with the look?”

“Are you saying that parents WILLINGLY let their kids attempt a Lunar Ritual!? Annually!?” She demanded, a wild look in her eyes.

Eda reeled back at the intensity. “Whoa, kid! You’re gonna have to explain a little. What’s the big deal, the ritual never works!” She should know, all those times she and… anway, all those times she’d tried to do it as a kid, and it never worked, not even once!

“I can think of a few reasons why if my hunch is right.” Luz dryly stated, though Eda was mostly certain that wasn’t a jab at her. This time at least. Luz grew serious. “Eda, this is big stuff. Lunar Rituals, even minor ones, are insanely powerful, and can cause all kinds of chaos!” She huffed. “Man, this job just got tougher.”

That instantly caught Eda’s attention. “What job?” She asked, raising an eyebrow in suspicion. If this was a trap…

Luz snorted. “That Blight girl from the Covention is holding a Conjuring for her and some of her friends, and asked me to run Bodyguard duty so that they feel safe.” She shrugged. “I mean, usually I’m the one getting PAST bodyguards, not acting as one, but it seemed like something to do, you know?”

Eda paused, mulling it over. She knew the Blights, the parents that is, and she didn’t trust either of them, not really. Al was deceptively absent-minded, but was brilliant when it came to playing the game and getting the best results for him and his, whereas Dolly was… an experience in patience testing, even by Eda’s lofty standards of weaponized annoyance. Still, if it came from the kid, it probably wasn’t a trap. “Eh, I got no problem with it.” She finally said. “Just keep your eyes peeled around her parents. Al and Dolly aren’t the kind of people you should trust. Like, at all.” She finished, voice growing grave.

Luz lightly bit her lip, softly kicking at the ground. “Yeah, I understand.” She was intimately familiar with adults of those types. Eyes brightening, she added, “But hey, it’s still a party, right? I bet I can sneak out some snacks for you, King and Hooty after I’m done!” She winked, a cheeky grin on her face. Eda laughed at that. Chuckling, the two made their way home, Eda chugging the potion before she forgot about it again. When they got back, they encountered the honestly hilarious sight of King tied up to a pole over a pile of leaves, Hooty reading off a list of charges before a court of stuffed animals. After they finished laughing, and King stopped screaming in embarrassment, the group went inside, gathering supplies.

“I don’t care what you say, I AM GOING WITH YOU TO THE NIGHT MARKET!!” King shouted, stomping his foot. It almost looked bratty, were it not for the fact he was also stuffing supplies into a fanny pack from Eda’s junk piles. For all his attitude, he was serious about going with her.

“Ugh! Fine, fine! Just settle down already!” Eda groaned, relenting to his (annoying) insistence. She looked sideways at Luz’s chuckle. “Oh, like you’d be able to stand up to him when he’s like this, either!” She retorted.

Luz snorted. “Aw heck no! I am well aware when to fold’em, but that’s not gonna stop me from finding this hilarious!” She laughed, her stuff packed and ready for the trip. She calmed down, focusing. “But for real, this should be a good way to relax, you know?” She said, a soft smile on her face, one that Kind and Eda returned. A sharp knocking sounded at the door. “Coming!” Luz called out. As she walked up to the door, she was unsurprised to see Willow and Gus standing before her, wearing a mix of formal and casual clothing. What did surprise her, however, was their expressions. Willow had a look of stoic control, as if she was about to do something she really didn’t want to, but was resigned to it. Gus seemed to be oscillating between barely contained panic, and unfettered excitement.

“Uuuhh… you guys okay?” Luz hesitantly asked. She knew that they didn’t have the best history with Blight, but wasn’t this reaction a little much?

“Who, us!? Yeah! Totally fine! Definitely not panicking over going to the most popular girl in school’s Conjuring after she sent us a message over Penstagram and are totally freaking out over the idea of it being a horrible, awful, evil prank to humiliate and degrade us!! Nope, we are totally fine!” Gus rambled, eyes flicking around the area, visibly sweating. Luz cocked an eyebrow.

“Let’s just get this over with, can we?” Willow stoically stated, already moving to leave, and motioning for them to follow. Gus quickly followed suit. With a shrug, Luz gave one last wave goodbye to Eda and King, and followed them.

“The guard I acquired to supervise the safety of myself and my guests for the conjuring, along with the first of my guests, will be arriving shortly.” Amity informed her parents. Alador was still working on his latest Abomination experiment, almost obsessed with it ever since he had examined Willow’s from the incident as Amity thought of it. Her mother, Odalia, was frantically pacing, sipping at a cup of tea to try and settle her nerves. Amity admittedly derived some level of almost sadistic enjoyment from her mother’s current discomfort. For reasons unknown, Odalia had been in something of a tizzy all day, her normal paranoia kicked up a few notches.

“I don’t like it!” Odalia announced, stopping in front of Amity. “This entire venture is far too risky, with too little benefit! While a boost to public morale and that of the social links you’ve formed would most definitely be beneficial, we have no idea if those Oroboros Cravens would attempt to attack us! We ARE the Boiling Isles premiere source of Home Security equipment, after all!” She turned to Alador. “Is it too late to cancel?”

“I believe so.” Alador added his absent-minded consideration to the conversation. “If I recall correctly, the guests should all be currently in transit, and if Amity’s preparations are accurate, our first two guests and her mysterious guard should be arriving at any moment.” He concluded, never once glancing up from the Abomination before him, his arms buried deep in its inner workings.

“Curses!” Odalia bit out, glancing at the clock in frustration. Ultimately, she sighed. “Ugh, very well, I suppose this nonsensical event can continue.” Amity tacitly held her tongue on the fact that Odalia was the one who regularly encouraged her to hold them at all.

“Thank you, mother.” Amity said diplomatically. The doorbell screamed, signalling someone’s arrival. “I believe that would be my guard and two of the guests. Would you like to accompany me in greeting them?” She asked, internally begging for her mother not to, to make up some bull excuse about it being beneath her, that she had work to do, anything!

“Hmm, very well, I suppose.” Odalia replied, dashing Amity’s hopes. As the two walked toward the door, she once again internally begged, pleaded, for her mother not to make a scene, to just accept Amity’s decisions. Surprisingly, her hopes were answered! ...Though, the reason was in itself rather chilling.

Outside the door stood three figures, Willow, Augustus, and Luz, all ready for the night to begin. Seeing who was at the door, Amity expected a few different reactions from her mother: Shouting, summoning Abominations, derogatory remarks, and a few others. What she got was, in itself, surprising. A wide, intimately familiar smile appeared across Odalia’s face, the look she got when she made a highly advantageous deal. “Welcome, honored guests!” Odalia cried, ushering the bewildered group inside. “It is my pleasure, as Matriarch of the Blight Family, to welcome you to our humble home for my darling daughter’s Moonlight Conjuring!” Humble, right. Amity felt like scoffing at her mother’s hammy antics, but held her tongue, both to maintain her image, and to see why her mother was reacting as anticipated.

“Well, it’s a pleasure to be here, Miss Blight.” Luz cordially stated, a neutral look on her face.

“Oh, call me Odalia dear! You played quite the role in protecting my darling Mittens from harm!” She all but gushed, ruffling Amity’s hair, much to her frustration. She could see the three silently mouthing her nickname. Oh no. Odalia’s eyes sharpened, focusing on Luz’s face. “Judging by your presence here, I believe it’s safe to assume you are the guard my daughter acquired, is it not?”

“Uh, yeah.” Luz nodded, a little baffled at Odalia’s antics at the moment. “Pardon my confusion, but you are taking me being here a lot better than I expected.”

“Hmm? Oh, you mean about your association with those ruffians, don’t you?” Odalia rhetorically stated, chuckling lightly. “My dear, you swore an Unbreakable Vow on a live broadcast, someone would have to be a fool to find you suspect after that, you even pledged to fight against Oroboros while under it for Titan’s sake! No, you being here eliminates most of my worries about how this night will turn out.” She said, a pleased look on her face.

“Oh! Well, thank you, ma’am.” Luz said, a faint blush on her face at the praise. Amity resisted the urge to raise an eyebrow. While that was certainly a revelation as to her mother’s motives, in part, it still didn’t answer the biggest question as to why she hasn’t blown her top.

“And who might you be?” Odalia cordially stated, turning to Augustus.

“OH, uh, Augustus Porter, Miss Odalia Blight, Ma’am!! I’m in the same year as your daughter, in the Illusion Track at Hexside!” He quickly stated, standing stock still in nervousness. Amity almost face-palmed at his antics. “Most people call me Gus.” He rapidly added.

“Hmm, Gus Porter, son of Perry Porter, conductor of the interview and one of the Boiling Isles most acclaimed reporters, holding a great deal of public sway due to his accuracy, honesty, and minimal bias in his field.” Odalia rattled off, as if by memory. Amity assumed it was, as her mother did enjoy memorizing details of people with influence, even if only peripherally, like Mr. Porter. “Going by your age, I find it intriguing that you’re in the same year as my daughter. Did you skip a grade?” She mused.

“Uh, two actually.” Gus said, bashfully rubbing his shoulder.

“Well, well, well! Aren’t you the accomplished little intellectual!” She said enthusiastically. “My boy, if you ever desire, I believe I could find you quite a lucrative position at Blight Industries upon your graduation.” She said, pulling out one of her business cards, handing it to the now star-struck boy.

“Oh, wow! Uh, thank you?” He said, both excited and confused at the offer, tucking the card into his pocket.

“Oh, think nothing of it.” Odalia dismissed, turning to Willow, an assessing look in her eyes. “And you?”

“Willow Park, ma’am.” Willow said, her face a careful mask of iron-clad politeness.

“Willow Park, recent transfer to Hexside’s Plant Track, considered their rising star, and possessing a level of power and skill typically found only in adults.” Odalia once again rattled off, a calculating look in her eyes. “Miss Park, I daresay I owe you an apology for my daughter’s conduct.” Amity and Willow both went very still at that, certain theories sliding into place in both their minds.

“While I am unaware as to why, exactly, my daughter felt the need to distract herself with something as gauche as bullying of all things, I am pleased to inform you that she was appropriately reprimanded for her conduct.” Odalia continued, blissfully unaware of the thoughts raging through the minds of the two involved. “If you ever feel the need for further discussion on this topic, or if my daughter slips back into such… unsavory habits, feel free to contact me. But for the moment, I must bid the three of you farewell.” And with that, she turned on her heel, swiftly making her way back to her husband, hoping he was either finished… or hadn’t killed himself.

Amity felt sick. Her mind could only find one simple conclusion as to why, exactly, that had occurred, and by the look of mixed disgust and near-volcanic rage on Willow’s face, she had reached it as well. “She didn’t even remember me.” Willow breathed out, burning heat coloring her voice. “She didn’t even know who I was!”

Unbeknownst to the group, a figure was watching from the shadows outside, a group arrayed protectively around her. “I never expected to see you here, LuLu.” A childish voice giggled, a small pointed object glinting in their hands.

[what-is-your-plan-today]

CSI Rogers and Barnes Ch 12: An Excelsior Turn Of Events

Part 2 Co written with @icanfeelastormbrewing​

REMINDER! Episode Warnings: Bad Language words.

Make sure you read Part 1 first!!!

Steve looked up, frowning slightly as he saw Katie walk into the office, followed by Fury.

"Sir?" He looked from Katie to his boss, as he stood up from his desk "I wasn't expecting to see you today?"

Fury closed the door and strode over the room, taking the seat that Steve gestured towards. Katie sat down next to him, her eyes following Steve back round the desk as he looked at her once more, shrugging slightly as he sat down.

"Well I wasn't anticipating being here." Fury said, his eyes looking around the room before he glanced back at Steve "That was until I received a very interesting call yesterday. From a concerned member of your team."

Steve glanced at Katie who had suddenly paled.

"What about?" he asked, his eyes flicking back to Fury.

"You two." he said simply. "How you are..." Fury waved a hand, "Dating, or whatever you want to call it."

Shit.

"Sir, look, this-" Steve started to speak but Fury simply held his hand up.

"I didn't need the call to tell me." he implored, looking at Steve then Katie "I may only have one eye but I’m not blind…”

Katie took a deep breath and looked to Steve, for once she was lost for words. Steve locked his lips and then took a deep breath "You know, Sir, technically we're not breaking any rules as Stark reporting to Coulson."

Fury raised an eyebrow, an amused look on his face “That’s a very small loophole Captain…"

"But a loophole nonetheless..." Katie responded. Furry turned to face her, almost as if he was considering her point before he shook his head.

"Yes, but it is also irrelevant as I’m pulling you back to New York permanently, Stark, and ending your secondment.”

Steve let out a sigh, he wasn't surprised. He knew from the various calls and emails he had with Coulson that the Captain was getting restless about not knowing what was going on but he hadn't wanted to trouble Katie about it anymore, especially when she was struggling to make a decision about what to do. He wanted it to be her decision and hers alone, despite what he had said the previous night. He wanted her back, of course he did, but whatever she decided he was adamant they would work through it. But now, that decision had been taken out of her hands.

He watched as Katie, showing no emotion other than a blink of surprise, which unless you knew her you would miss. "Can I ask why?” she said, her voice even.

“Coulson is a body down, and he can’t sustain it any longer so he needs to recruit permanently." Fury replied simply "I'm sure I don't need to tell you, but you can’t come back to the 101, unless you two end it…and I wouldn’t want to make you do that. Who am I to interfere with affairs of the heart…” he said with a slight smile.

"So you’re gonna assign me to another precinct?” Katie asked, her voice still passive but Steve could see from the look in her eyes she was trying not to display how disappointed she was, despite the fact that they had both known this would happen the minute they went public.

“I spoke to Captain Holt yesterday afternoon. He is more than happy to welcome you back to the 99…or I can look for-“

“No…” Katie cut him off, shaking her head. "I have to leave the 101 then the 99 is where I’d want to go.”

Steve let out a soft sigh of relief. Going back to the 99 from both a professional point of view and a personal one was the best outcome they could have asked for. They all knew her, so she wasn't going to have to prove herself all over again to a set of new colleagues. Plus he knew Captain Holt to be a fair man and a great Captain, even if his style was completely different to his own. He'd make sure she was looked after.

Fury nodded, smiling "I thought you might say that. I'll get HR to raise the paperwork as soon as I get back. You can finish up the week here and then until the transfer goes through you'll be placed on paid leave..."

At that Katie frowned "You're taking me off the case?"

"Sir, is that really necessary?" Steve began to protest "I mean, Katie's been with this from-"

“Captain, I’m sorry but it could lead to all sorts of problems." Fury shook his head "All it takes is for a defence lawyer gets a sniff of this and it’s enough of a chink for them to exploit accusing you of being distracted, our eyes not being on the prize so to speak...”

"Oh, come on Nick…” Steve scoffed, shaking his head "That's an insult to both of us! Do you seriously think we can't-"

“Steve, it's fine." Katie shook her head looking at him. "I get it.”

Steve held her gaze as she took a deep breath, he could see she was upset but had resigned herself to this being the way it had to be. He looked at her, frantically trying to reassure her in some way, and in some ways apologise about the fact that it was her professional career that was, once again, being tipped upside down because of him, but she simply shrugged and he saw her stoic front slip slightly as she turned to Fury, blinking back the tears in her eyes.

"I'm sorry Stark." Fury sighed, and Steve could see he was being genuine. And from the sounds of it so did Katie.

“I understand Sir. May I be dismissed?”

“Yes” Fury nodded, looking at her.

Katie rose from her seat, nodding to him then to Steve “Captain…”

He looked at her for a moment, knowing full well she was proving a point, being professional so he waved her away and she left pulling the door closed behind her.

As soon as the door shut Steve turned to Fury shaking his head. “I can’t believe you’re pulling her off this…”

“Officially, yes.” Fury remarked, looking at something on the ceiling. Steve frowned, watching as the man turned his face to Steve and levelled him with a look "But I can’t be responsible for what she has access to or sees in her spare time now can I?”

Steve understood instantly and shook his head, snorting, a smile playing on his face. “Fury, you son of a bitch…”

“Ooh, hooo, you kiss your mother with that mouth?” Fury looked back at him. Steve raised an eyebrow, suddenly feeling a little calmer about the situation. If they could keep Katie working this on the low, it was better than nothing. Sadly, it meant she wouldn't get any of the plaudits should they solve the case but it was better than nothing. She wasn't about glory, merely doing the job and doing the job well. And the reason he had asked her to come back from DC was because she was one of the best Officers he knew.

“Now." Fury looked at Steve "About Miss Maximoff…”

Steve frowned, as Fury held his gaze, before it clicked in his mind and he gave a low groan "She was the one that called?"

“You know I can't officially tell you that, but, well I'm not letting her off scot free.”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t like disloyalty” Fury shook his head, “Yes you and Stark were breaking rules, but as it's a dumbass rule I elected to ignore it. That is until she called. Anyway, I'm giving you the opportunity to have her transferred as well…to Statten Island. We'll call it career development."

Steve snorted “She can go, I’ll pack her stuff myself”

Fury laughed “I’ll let you deliver the news to her then. As soon as you give me the nod, I’ll sort you another assistant too. You may have to share with another precinct until we can recruit but…”

Steve nodded.

“I’m sorry.” Fury apologised again as he rose from his seat, and Steve shook his head as he too stood.

“It's fine Sir. We both knew that this would happen at some point.”

“Some risks are worth taking though, huh?”

“Yeah, something like that.” Steve smiled.

“Well, for what it's worth Howard would be pleased.” Fury nodded "He thought very highly of you, often stated he wished the pair of you would wake up and see what was right in front of you."

Steve let out a chuckle "He must have been speaking to my ma."

"They knew each other didn't they?"  Fury asked.

"Yeah, childhood friends." Steve smiled.

"Hmm." Fury mused, before he looked around and dropped his voice "On the subject of Howard..." Steve took a breath, the words  'trust no one' echoing in his head from the video.  He had no doubt in his mind he could trust Fury, but still he hesitated for a moment before he answered as honestly as he coul.

"I know what you’re gonna say and yes, Katie cracked the encryption. We just…well, we need time to work through what we found. When we do, I’ll let you know.”

Fury nodded “Ok”

With that he held out his hand, Steve shook it, and then Fury swept out of the office. ***** The door to Steve's office opened and Bucky looked up to see Katie striding out. He could tell instantly she was upset but as he opened his mouth she shook her head at him to tell him to keep quiet. Doing as she asked, he simply watched as she sat down at her computer, simply staring at the screen. He could see clearly from her eyes that she wasn't reading or doing anything. He looked over at Clint who looked at him, before they both glanced at Natasha. She was leaning back in her chair, shooting daggers at Wanda, who was in turn completely ignoring her. It didn't take a genius to figure out that Fury had gotten wind of what was going on between Steve and Katie, and it also didn't take a genius to figure out who had tipped him off. No one spoke for a few moments, until the door to Steve's office opened again and Fury strode out, followed shortly by the Captain. And for the first time in his life, Bucky found himself unable to get a read on his best friend, which in itself was unnerving.

"Wanda, can I have a word please?" Steve spoke, his tone even and polite.  Wanda looked at him, her face slipping before she stood up and followed him. As soon as the door shut behind them Bucky sat up straight and looked at Katie. "What's going on?" "Someone blew the whistle, on me and Steve." she said simply, her eyes turning back to him from where they had been fixed on a door "And you don't need to be Einstein to figure out who..." "Sneaky bitch." Natasha sighed, shaking her head.

"So I'm being pulled back from DC and moved over the 99."  Katie shrugged.

"But after we solve the case, right?" Clint said, his tone hopeful. Katie shook her head and both Clint and Natasha let out exclamations of anger.

"It's fine." Katie shook her head, "We knew the risks and if I had to choose a precinct to go to it would be the 99. I know everyone, I enjoyed it there and Holt is a good man so..." with that she stood up "I'm gonna get another coffee, anyone-" But before she could finish her sentence the door to Steve's office flew open and Wanda came blazing out, a look of rage on her face as she bee lined for Katie.

"You fucking bitch." she hissed, and before anyone could move she'd launched herself at the Sergeant, her hand raised, nails flying at her face like a cat would swipe with its claws. Katie gave a yell as Wanda attacked her and Bucky flew from his seat, but before he had a chance to intervene Katie had stepped back slightly and her right hand drew back, her fist connecting straight with Wanda's nose, a loud crack ringing around the office as the place erupted into pandemonium. Shouts and the general kerfuffle associated with a fight filled the air as Bucky grabbed hold of Katie, pulling her back whilst Steve quickly appeared, stepping in between the two women as Wanda picked herself up of the floor, slapping away Natasha's offer of help.

"She hit me...." Wanda spat, wiping at her nose which was billowing blood.

"Give me a chance and I'll do it again, you spiteful little-" "ENOUGH!" Steve bellowed, silencing the office. "I won't stand for this, you hear me? I'm running a fucking Police Department not a goddamned school yard..." "Look what she did to my nose!" Wanda spat, grabbing a tissue from the box Clint was holding out. Bucky noticed the man wasn't even looking at Wanda as he did so, he was looking at Katie, his eyebrow raised.

"Look what you did to her cheek." Clint shrugged, and Bucky turned to Katie, Steve doing the same, both men frowning as they saw the nail marks down the side of her cheek, which were also bleeding.

Katie raised her hand to her face and let out a loud noise of annoyance through her nose as she looked at the blood on her hand. "Fucks sake..." "You ok?" Steve looked at her, Bucky could tell he was fighting the urge to sweep her into his arms, trying to remain professional and Katie simply nodded.

"I was until she came flying out of your office and went loco." "That's true." Clint offered "She went for Stark first."

“They’re transferring me because of you…” Wanda hissed, looking at Katie. Bucky saw Stark blink before she grinned a little and let out a laugh.

"Looks your little stunt back fired slightly then didn’t it you stupid bitch!”

“God you really think you’re fucking special…” Wanda spat at her “Fuck knows what on Earth-“

“I said enough..." Steve spoke again, cutting her off, his voice firm but calm. He looked at Katie and spoke to her gently "Go sort your face and take an early lunch…”

She looked at him, but Bucky knew she was clever enough to recognise when she was being dismissed. She simply nodded her agreement and grabbed her jacket and her bag. He looked at Natasha who was already moving, giving him a nod as she picked up her purse and followed Stark out of the room.

Once they were gone, Steve turned to Wanda. “Wanda, you moving has nothing to do with Stark, it was Fury’s idea. He feels your career needs development." "Bullshit." Wanda spat, "This is nothing more than petty revenge." "Ok you want the truth?" Steve sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose, and Bucky watched, a smile playing on his face. It wasn't often Steve got the urge to break rules but this was clearly one of them. "Fury doesn’t like disloyalty and neither do I. Simply put a Captain can’t have people on his team they don’t trust. You going behind my back to Fury was sneaky and spiteful and he won’t stand for it and neither will I.”

Wanda glared at him as she wiped her nose with a tissue, Steve continuing.

"But that's off the record and I'll deny it, as will Fury." he shrugged. ���Get to medical, and then you can take the next 2 weeks paid leave. After that you’ll be heading over to Statten Island.”

At that Clint let out a snort "Statten Island…"

"Shut up Barton." Steve snapped, and Bucky bit back the smirk that was threatening to cross his own face. Statten Island was known to be the most boring precinct in New York.

“You can stick your transfer.” Wanda shook her head “I quit”

There was a slight pause before Steve shrugged  "Ok. I accept your resignation. You can clear your desk and I’ll inform HR. No need to work your notice. I’ll ensure you’re paid for it.”

With that he turned and headed back to his office. Bucky leaned back in his chair, pride swelling in his chest at the way Steve had, albeit very subtly, stood up for his girl. But Wanda just couldn't let it lie.

"Why do you like her?” she blurt out. Steve paused, and turned back to face her.

“Excuse me?”

“Stark…why do you like her? I just don’t get it.”

“I don’t like her Wanda.” Steve shrugged, “I love her” and with that he walked back into his office, closing the door.

A silence fell over the office as Bucky and Clint exchanged a look. Bucky noticed Clint wasn't even trying to hide the enormous grin that had spread across his face.

"Well, that was entertaining..." he said, leaning back in his chair "What next? Naked mud wrestling?" "Fuck you." Wanda spat, as she moved to her desk.

Clint stood up, and retrieved a box from under his desk. "Here, once you've had your nose seen to you'll need that for your stuff. I'll help you carry it down to your car."

"Thanks." she said, taking it from him.

Clint nodded, and turned away muttering to Bucky under his breath. "Just to make sure she actually leaves."

******

"I still can't believe she quit, just like that." Katie shook her head "I mean, that's a really dumbass move." "Well, I think it was her pride more than anything." Steve shrugged, turning left out of the car lot. "I'll give it a few days, see if she changes her mind. I doubt it though, she'll be pissed for sure after what I said to her."

"What do you mean?" Katie asked.

"Well she wasn't letting go that easily." Steve said, glancing in the mirror. "So she asked me why I liked you."

Katie gave a scoff from her seat.

"I told her I didn't." Steve continued, side glancing at her as he spoke "But that I love you." A soft smile spread across her face and she turned to look at him, "You did?" "Course, its true." he said, his eyes locking onto hers for a moment before he turned them back to the road. "Maybe if I'd done it sooner it would have put a stop to her bitching and you wouldn't have fingernail marks down your face."

Katie shook her head "That's not your fault Steve. We both decided to try and keep it quiet remember? And I outed us anyway, that's what tipped her over the edge." "Honey, it was going to come out anyway at some point, I told you that yesterday.  But, maybe if I'd stepped up and stopped her stupid little antics beforehand, even without mentioning you...”

"Stevie." she cut him off, shaking her head "Just, don't think about it anymore. It's done. We have a way forward and in a way I'm relieved." "You are?" "Yeah, I mean ok I'm not happy about having to leave the 101 but you know I love the guys at 99 and it means we don't have to hide anymore. Finally there's absolutely nothing stopping us. We can do things like lunch together or breakfast together or grab a coffee on breaks without looking over our shoulders. We don't have to date in secret... it makes it more...I dunno, real. Does that make sense?"

"Yeah, yeah it does." Steve smiled, it made perfect sense. Sneaking around had made them feel like they were doing something wrong, but now it was out they were free to just be together, like they had waited for so damned long to be. They fell into a comfortable silence, Steve stopping at the light, glancing out to his left he spotted a flower stall on the side of the road. That was something he hadn't done for Katie yet, bought her some flowers. He knew her favourites were calla lilies and daisies, and he was just making a mental note to remember to get her some at some point soon when she spoke his name and nodded to indicate the lights had turned green.

"I really, really don't like this car." Steve mumbled as it failed to accelerate to his liking when he put his foot down. "Sooner the insurance company sort my pay out the better."

"What's wrong with it?" Katie asked, turning to face him.

"It's just all wrong." he shrugged.

"And you call me a brat." she chuckled.

Steve gave a snort "They said like for like hire replacement." he glanced at her "I had a Q5, this is not a Q5.”

“I know, it's an A5”

“Exactly, it's not the same." he concluded.

“Has a 5 in it.” she shrugged, her eyes focussed on the road ahead of them but he could see her mouth curling up into a smirk.

"Doll, just don’t…” he said, and she turned her head to face him, the angry red scratches on her cheek standing out against her smooth skin.

“Can I put my feet on the dash in this one?”

Steve glared at her

“What, it’s not yours.” she continued.

“I’m borrowing so no, you can’t."

Giving a chuckle she reached out with her left hand for his right as it lay on the centre arm rest between them, pulling it over onto her lap, her fingers playing with his as she looked down at his hand, tracing shapes on his palm. He'd noticed it was something she did as they sat watching TV at night, something she hadn't done to him before she'd taken his hand in the car that night after the Christmas Party. Steve understood why, because in a way it felt really intimate. And he liked it.

“I like this car better anyway” she said, her eyes flicking back up to his face.

“Why?”

“It’s sleeker and sexier." she shrugged "The other one was too sensible. It was something a dad would drive.”

“A Daddy’s car, huh?” Steve looked at her, grinning.

“That’s not what…oh whatever.” she snorted, shaking her head as he gave her a little smirk, before he saw one flicker across her face too.

“I think Ari had a Q5 actually…”

“Oh come on!” Steve spluttered as she let out a loud laugh “Don’t make me smack the stupid off of you…”

“There was nothing stupid about Ari” Katie said, with a dramatic, over the top nostalgic sigh, teasing him.

“I said off you." Steve looked at her "I don’t know that Ari guy…”

“He’s not a guy, he’s a man. You’re a guy.”

“I’m a guy?”

“Yeah…” she turned to look at him “My guy.”

“That line is as shit as this car.”

Katie's laugh turned into a groan “Oh not again Steve…it takes you to places, that’s more than enough.”

Steve chuckled, pulling his hand up bringing hers with it to place a soft kiss to the back just underneath her knuckles.

“Still think you were dumb getting rid of the mustang…” she said as he let her fingers go, moving his hand back to the wheel so he could take a left turn.

“Well it was 3 years old and…” he stopped himself dead from finishing his sentence, but as ever he wasn't going to get away with it.

“What?” Katie asked

“Nothing…”

“Steve..." her tone was warning and he sighed, realising she wouldn't let it drop.

"Well, and Peggy didn’t like it.” he shrugged “Said I needed something more sensible.”

“Oh Fuck Peggy.” Katie shook her head and he turned to her, his eyebrow raised "I liked it. In fact, I think you should get one when your money comes through…”

“We’ll see…” he shrugged. If truth be told that Mustang had been the nicest car he'd owned, and his favourite. It was fun to drive, moved like you wouldn't believe and the growl it had when you put your foot on the gas was enough to make him purr with delight every time he did it. Maybe another one wasn't such a bad idea.

After another 10 minutes or so they reached the graveyard and Steve pulled the car into a spare space. The two of them climbed out, and Steve took Katie’s hand in his as they walked down the path.

“He said the first row, furthest one to the right…” Katie mused, as they wound their way through the various memorials and monoliths, before they reached the new stone. Steve shivered slightly, this whole thing was a little too creepy for his liking.

It wasn’t long until Katie nudged him and nodded towards a small, elderly looking man that was striding towards them, a pair of sunglasses covering his eyes, a hat pulled down over his head. He stopped besides them, looking down at the grave before he spoke.

“You do look like your mother.” he said, looking at Katie, before his face turned to Steve and the Captain saw the lines at the end of his eyes crinkle in a smile “I thought you’d be taller.”

“Sir, I don’t know-“ Steve began but the man pulled a face.

“I don’t want to be here longer than possible so we don’t have time for pleasantries, my apologies.” he said gently, “I’ll get straight to the point.”

He reached inside his jacket and Steve stiffened slightly, placing himself in between Katie and the man as he suddenly realised he had no idea what the guy was concealing. His hand reached for the gun on his hip, and he thought he had been subtle about it, but he realised he hadn’t as Katie gently squeezed his arm and the man chuckled.

“And they say chivalry is dead, a fine trait Captain.” he nodded as he pulled out a manila file and what looked like a video disc.

“What’s this?”  Katie asked, reaching out to take it.

“Information in the form of a video of an interview and associated documentation. The documents belonged to your father and he gave me a copy of them so that I could continue to dig into things should he…” the man sighed, looking at her.

“Should something happen to him?” Katie swallowed.

The man gave her a sympathetic look, before he continued. “To cut a long story short, Howard uncovered a conspiracy within the NYPD one that I believe to be linked to your case.”

Katie took the file off him, and began to flick through the notes whilst Steve took the disc.

“The cover up involved Brock Rumlow.” the man spoke and Steve’s eyes snapped to Katie’s as she looked at him, then to the man “You see, after what happened to you, my dear, your dad pushed and pushed for Rumlow to be sacked but in the end he was allowed to resign…” “We know all this.” Steve said, a little impatiently. “I was there, we both were…” “Yes, but the thing is Howard took it personally, and wouldn’t let it lie so he started to dig into the rape case, off radar. As a consequence he discovered a huge cover up. Someone was paid to give Rumlow an alibi.” Katie shook her head, “I fucking knew it…” she turned to the man “Let me guess, the money came from Ross?”

He nodded “he was being blackmailed by someone, someone who had compromising photos.”

“Yeah we saw.” Steve said.

The elderly man pulled a face. “I wish I hadn’t…but, anyway. Ross also put pressure on Schmidt to get Sara Klein to drop the case.”

Steve looked at Katie who let out a sigh. “Who? Who was it that was pulling the strings?”

“He never said. Not directly, however you’ll find the answer in there just as I did.” he said, “Now, please forgive me, but I really do need to go. I can’t be seen in the area. It would severely compromise my cover.” He turned to go and Steve frowned, watching him for a second, until Katie stepped forward a little.

“And my parents?” Katie looks at him “Do you think they were killed like Fury does?”

The man sighed “I remain suspicious about how your parents died.” he said, looking down “Because it happened the day after your dad gave me the interview.” he nodded to the file

“The interview is my dad?” Katie frowned.

He nodded.

“You’re a reporter?” Steve stated, and the man nodded.

“I was, a long time ago. When Ross was murdered it piqued my interest and then when Sitwell turned up too, then Schmidt…well, it was too much to be a coincidence…especially seeing as the murderer you’re tracking is using the same MO as what may or may not have happened to your parents. I couldn’t deny it or keep it hidden any longer.”

Katie shook her head “You should have come forward sooner! My parents deserved that at least.”

Steve placed his hand on her shoulder, she was getting worked up he could see that and he didn’t blame her. Not one bit.

“I’m not proud of it Miss Stark…but I had a wife and I wasn’t going to put her in danger not unnecessarily. Then the murders started and, well, they can’t kill you if you’re already dead…” the man said simply, nodding to the grave they were stood in front of “And if they put me in the ground next to her then, so be it…”

“I can organise protection…” Steve offered, and the man shook his head, smiling

“Captain, I’m almost 80 years old. If my time is up…well, at least I can go with a clear conscience now. Good luck to both of you. Excelsior.” And with that he left. Steve watched him go, feeling pretty uneasy about how much of a target this was going to put on his back but he was distracted when Katie spoke.

“Well, at least we know his name, look.”

Steve did as was told “In memory of Joan Lee, beloved wife to Stan…” he trailed off as he read the rest of the tribute, before he reached the short epitaph at the bottom. “ How lucky I was to have had something that made saying goodbye so hard. Excelsior…where have I seen or heard that word before?” Steve looked at Katie, “Excelsior I mean?”

“It’s on the coat of arms of the state of New York.” she answered “It’s Latin, translates as ‘ever upwards’, or ‘even higher’, words to that effect.”

Steve blinked “How do you remember this stuff?”

“Guess it just kinda stuck with me from the academy.” she shrugged, before she gave a shiver and looked down at the file “Let’s get out of here and see what this says.” They made their way back to Steve’s, deeming it the safest place to go through the information, without fear of being interrupted. Whilst they drove, Katie googled Stan Lee and discovered he had been an investigative journalist, one that was noted for his hard hitting and unbiased articles and his detailed work with the NYPD, having worked with them on a few notorious cases.

When they arrived at the apartment, Katie told Steve she didn’t want to watch the video, not unless they absolutely needed to. She said wanted to focus more on the other pieces of information and evidence that had come with the file but Steve suspected it also had something to do with the emotions she would no doubt feel at seeing her father on screen again over 5 years after he had died. He didn’t say anything though, simply agreed, and as such, they were sat on the floor by the couch, paper spread all over the floor as they sifted through, trying to find the answer to their question, which Lee had assured them was in there.

“Why didn’t he just fucking tell us?” Katie grumbled, reaching out for another piece of paper.

“Your guess is as good as mine.” Steve sighed, as his eyes scanned the transcript of the interview between Howard and Lee that was contained on the disc “Maybe he enjoys the idea of people finding links for themselves, you know, making the connections through easter eggs, I don’t know…”

“He could have at least given us a clue, you know? Some kind of…I dunno, indication of where to look…” she mumbled before she trailed off as she frowned, looking at the item she had just picked up. She scrambled for another piece she had dropped onto a pile before and placed them both flat on the floor “Stevie, look at this.”

He moved so he could see the papers side by side, his eyes flicking over the information. The first was a copy of a birth certificate. “Unnamed boy…DOB December 5th 1976… Mother Alana Bevon…”

“Now look at this one…” She tapped the one to the right. His eyes feel wide as he read the information, “It’s a death certificate…for Alana Bevon…fuck, she died in childbirth, aged 16?” “Yup, and this is an Adoption order. Said un-named male baby was adopted…by a Mrs and Mrs Rumlow…”

“Rumlow was adopted?”  Steve’s eyebrows raised as she placed that piece of paper down on the floor on top of the birth certificate. She made a noise of agreement as she reached for the next document that had come in that particular bunch from the file and paused.

“Holy fucking shit…” she whispered, her eyes wide.

“Doll?” Steve frowned “What is it?”

Wordlessly she handed him a piece of paper. It was a letter confirming a set of DNA results. Dated 2 days before Howard died. As he read the information he felt his blood run cold and he blinked a few times to make sure he was reading it correctly.

“This…Chief Pearce is Rumlow’s biological father? He got a 16 year old pregnant?”

“It explains why he would be shielding him…years of guilt…” Katie’s breathing was deep. “Fuck, Steve…this…this is insane.” “We need to call Fury…”  Steve’s logical brain kicked in, thankfully, and he pulled his phone out of his pocket, frowning as it immediately began to light up in his hand. It was Bucky.

“Buck, sorry pal but I gotta call Fury, we made a breakthrough, its Pearce…the guy who’s been covering up for Rumlow…” he answered but Bucky cut him off with a sigh.

“Well that’s unfortunate. Because I just got a call from Thor. Pearce was found dead in his car about 30 minutes ago”

[doctor243]

The End of the World

So this is an new IronWidow story that I am still putting together. I was just gonna do it as a one-shot but BOOM suddenly I had 5000+ words so why stop now, I thought lol. Let me know what you think^^

Summary: “This is how the world ends. Not with a bang, but with a......” or How I feel Endgame should have been written.

Pairing: Tony Stark x Natasha Romanoff

Chapter 1: Irony

Irony was a terrible thing.

The world was in a terrible state. Everyone had lost somebody, the economy had tanked, and the world was basically in a state of confusion and disarray. Questions that no one could answer were flooding the world, like “Why is there no more electricity in my city?”

Because the people needed to maintain the power plants were snapped away.

“Why is the highway jammed with cars?”

Because the drivers got snapped away.

“Why are half the buildings in New York razed to the ground?”

Because there are three airports in the vicinity of Manhattan and half of the pilots flying planes in the air space got snapped away.

“Why is my mother gone?”

Because…

Tony looked out the window of the common area, eyes soaking in the dishevelled state of the city. He nursed his glass of whiskey as he watched the dark clouds roll their way into his line of sight.

Because we failed.

He closed his eyes tightly with a sigh and a lone tear slid down his cheek. A stabbing pain shot through his heart as he remembered Pepper’s smile – tender, teasing and truthful. Then he nearly collapsed when he remembered being told how she had died when a car had smashed into her when the driver had been snapped away. She left only their two year-old Morgan as her legacy, who was now sleeping soundly in bed.

Because I failed.

“Why is the whiskey gone?”

Tony turned around, hastily wiping the tear from his cheek, finding Natasha glaring at the empty bottles by the liquor cabinet as if they had committed a personal offense against her. He smiled tiredly.

“It was gone before I got here,” he replied, deliberately taking a sip from his glass.

She cocked an eyebrow at him in amusement, smirking as though she was about to come back with a witty comment. But she didn’t. She just looked at him and he could see that underneath her casualness and humour, the same pain and exhaustion that haunted him haunted her too. She felt the same disappointment and resignation that he did, and she had come to the living room for the same reason as him. He stepped towards the liquor cabinet, placing his glass down on a table.

“You know what?” He asked, suddenly. “It’s not even a good time for whiskey. It’s raining – it’s perfect for hot chocolate.”

Natasha raised an eyebrow at him questioningly. He hadn’t realised how much he’d missed that fiery look. Her willingness to challenge anyone and anything they said; her refusal to be intimidated by super-intellect and super-strength. In the two years that Cap had whisked away the Rogues and been on the run, Tony had been angry. He had been absolutely livid. But he still knew that their absence left a hole in the fabric of the Avengers, a missing part of its soul.  

“Hot chocolate?” Natasha repeated.

“Yes,” he answered decidedly. “Hot chocolate,” he pulled out a bottle of Irish Cream, “and a pot of gold.”

Natasha smiled in agreement. “I’ll start on the hot chocolate,” she turned to the kitchen.

“No,” Tony said, looking out of the window, where the rain pelted down like bullets from Thanos’ ships and the thunder shouted angrily after the flashes of lightning. “I’ll get the hot chocolate. You build the blanket fort.”

This time both eyebrows were raised at him. Somewhere in the back of his mind he was rather proud of himself, and he made a mental note to elicit that response from her as often as possible. “A blanket fort?” She asked incredulously. “Tony how many drinks did you have before I got here?”

“I’ve never built a blanket fort before,” he pointedly ignored her, pushing her in the direction of the couches. “Then again, I never did have a childhood or friends growing up.” It wasn’t a statement aimed at garnering sympathy, just a fact.

“And you think I did?” She asked again, almost offended.

“You’ve definitely built more makeshift covers in the wild than I have,” he replied methodically, putting the kettle on and pulling out the cocoa. “Spare blankets in the drawers.”

Nat sighed in resignation as she pulled out the twenty blankets that Tony referred to and got to work. She didn’t think it’d take this much effort just to get a fucking drink.

In the end, she was definitely very proud of herself. She’d utilised the couch cushions and the chairs to produce what seemed more like a blanket tent.

“Now that is a masterpiece,” Tony approached with two mugs of steaming Irish Hot Chocolate, clearly impressed. “Let’s do this.”

Once they were inside and comfortably situated, Natasha took a sip and groaned in pleasure. “Holy shit, Stark,” she hastily took another mouthful. “This has got to be the best thing I’ve ever tasted.”

“Well, there’s more where that came from,” Tony sipped with a smile. “I’m just impressed you found a lantern to bring in here.”

“You were taking so long I had the time to go to Cap’s storeroom,” she rolled her eyes.

Tony snorted. “Remember when he would go down there and do weekly checks on his field pack? As if we were going to send him into the woods at any moment?”

Natasha laughed fondly. “The stuff in there was from World War II!” She took another sip. “Still acting like he was in boot camp.”

They sat there in their fortress of blankets and memories, taking turns to refill their drinks of comfort, and reminiscing about days gone by. At one point they added vodka-laced whipped cream which, surprisingly, Tony made from scratch.

Time was an obscure construct for them, and at a certain point, when all the bottles (how many were there again?) of Bailey’s and all the cocoa had been expanded, Tony closed his eyes and sighed. They were both past the point of inebriation, but hadn’t that been the point?

“Irony is a bitch,” he whispered.

“What’d you mean?” Nat asked. They were both on their backs, staring at the ceiling of sheets and the lantern turned off.

“How long has it been?” he asked quietly.

“Since what?” Natasha mumbled.

“Since you guys killed Thanos?” he answered.

Natasha was silent for a little bit, sobering slightly. “6 months,” she replied finally.

Tony wished to God that he had been there, but he had just returned from Titan with Nebula. He had been too dehydrated, malnourished, and emotionally incapacitated from hearing the news about Pepper’s premature departure.

“Everybody lost somebody,” he finally explained. “It wasn’t just 50 percent of the world. Other people died too in the aftermath.”

“I know,” Natasha turned to look at him.

“Everything’s gone to shit,” he gritted out. “And yet…” he reached to his Arc Reactor and squeezed it, as though it were some kind of comfort. “And yet the irony is, he was right,” he wheezed out.

Natasha sat up. Even in her state, she knew she had to hear this, whether to agree or disagree.

“I lost Peter, Pepper and Happy,” he choked out. “But the world is slowly healing, world governments are putting selfish agendas aside and actually working together, and pollution has gone down exponentially. World peace and world hunger pretty much solved.” His body shook at every word he forced out.

“Tony…” Natasha placed a hand on his shoulder, and as she stared into his tear-filled eyes, she knew he didn’t believe himself.  

“Was the price worth it?” Tony was sobbing at this point. “Was he actually right?”

Natasha sighed and slipped her arms around his head and pulled him into an embrace, which he immediately returned, crying unabashedly. She knew that he knew the answer; he just needed to hear it from someone else.

“Of course not,” she whispered soothingly. “Nothing is worth losing lives for.” Tony sobbed even harder at this. “Not one,” she continued. “And certainly not half of all lives.” He never loosened his grip, and eventually Natasha started humming a song he’d never heard before. “We don’t trade lives, Tony,” she said at one point. They stayed that way for a while, him breathing in her scent while she played with his hair and hummed. He always knew that she’d been the heart of the team, helping to centre the strongest heads and to be the voice of unity. She’d turned the team into a family, and he lost that when she left with Steve.

“Let’s leave New York,” he said suddenly.

Natasha pulled away to look at him in the eyes. “What?” There was that eyebrow of question again.

“Let’s leave this building and go somewhere else,” he looked at her with determination from his red, wet eyes. “I have some property in Georgia, by the lake. And we can build a cabin. You can have your own room, and Morgan can be away from all the carnage in this city.”

“Tony, we have responsibilities to carry out,” she argued.

“Which we will be able to carry out with a change of environment,” he replied. This seemed like a better and better idea with each passing minute. “Cap will stay in New York and we’ll be able to contact our foreign friends when I build the hologram communicators into the cabin. C’mon Nat, I need to take Morgan to a place she doesn’t have to witness pain and suffering on a daily basis, and I can’t watch her alone. I can barely take care of myself.”

She thought about it silently, but the breaking in his voice took the strength out of her denial. The truth was that she needed a change as well, and the constant reminders of failures in her everyday life did not help. She needed time to heal. They needed to heal.

“Okay,” she whispered, returning to hugging him. He pulled her closer in response, clearly satisfied with her answer. Where do you turn when there’s nowhere left to go? What do you do when you’ve lost everything? “Okay,” she repeated.

Let me know what you think guys^^

Next Chapter: Here

Masterlist: Here

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[ofmimzy]

Tarrytown Sentence Starters: Part Two!

tw for alcohol mentions & v brief graveyard mention ! again, feel free to change pronouns to fit ur muses !!

“at first i’d go out to the bars, just by myself and just to drink.”

“i wasn’t good at starting conversations ‘round those guys, my tongue forever tied.”

“finally free of past inhibitions, finally free to play.”

“just stay home tonight, alright?”

“lock your door and pray that you make it through another day.”

“that’s okay, more time to play.”

“where you gonna stay?”

“start all over, life brand-new.”

“get out of the city, somewhere sorta pretty.”

“take the life you thought you knew and tear it apart!”

“to think, i really could.”

“a chance to change, to grow.”

“wondering where this will take me, loving the fact i don’t know.”

“down the stairs a world awaits alone, awake, aware!”

“maybe if i make it down the stairs.”

“up the stairs is sad and staid.”

“never believed i could fly down the stairs and out the door.”

“get in the car, turn on a tune. it’s not too far, we’ll be there soon.”

“out to the farm, fun afternoon.”

“we need some time, just you and me.”

“throw on some jeans and you will see me looking strong on a ladder.”

“we need a break, need some give and take.”

“we need some time on our own. time to relax and just be.”

“we can’t give up now, can’t just resign.”

“wow, okay. your timing’s not so good.”

“where’s my phone? shit, i can never find it.”

“plus, look outside. see that cloud? what if it rains?”

“might as well go visit him today.”

“stop. for once just listen, please. i’m leaving.”

“you know i love you in my own way but i just can’t stay here.”

“you’re a goddess, i’m a buffoon.”

“i’m sorry, i don’t want to fight but i think it’s just too late for us.”

“i’m all packed, i’ll call. i will, tonight.”

“what we need isn’t apples, we need time.”

“i mean time alone - away from one another.”

“we can work this out here.”

“talk off my ear, please, just stay.”

“it’s just a week or two - we need this.”

“don’t misread this, okay?”

“sure, take a minute - take a whole year! see if i care.”

“i play both sides of the field.”

“biased, i’m not. she needs me, he’s hot!”

“i think about you all the time.”

“now i’ll admit: that ‘kiss me’ bit was maybe all in my head.”

“i’m prepared to call the score.”

“i’m not just the glue the two pursue, i’m the rope in their tug of war!”

“the man in the middle is: me.”

“you feel it in the drop in fahrenheit.”

“a wise man lives in fear on this night every year.”

“stop it, you’re scaring him!”

“look what i got!”

“it’s like i can’t focus or breathe.”

“when you’re near, i think about all the things i’ve done right.”

“i’m aware that this is a lot to take in, it’s not fair to throw this on you.”

“this is the sanest i’ve been since i’ve moved here.”

“i’ve improved here, so can you.”

“so maybe the neighbors will talk, say we’re smiting the lord up above.”

“even i can’t get over the shock that i love you.”

“_____, i love you - i’m in love!”

“did you hear what i said?”

“do you have something to say?”

“when you’re near, i dream of the future we’ll share.”

“doubt and fear disappear when you’re near.”

“god it’s quiet with no one around.”

“just don’t think of what rests underground - all the bodies interred.”

“wonder if they all heard what he said to me.”

“i’d started to doubt some but looks like the outcome is bright!”

“why’s it so cold? where’d october go?”

“not very romantic… but he asked me to.”

“meet me tonight on the bridge.”

“i always feared it would never connect, romance eluded above me. now it’s appeared and i’ve felt its effect - turns out that someone can love me!”

“hand in hand we’ll run away from befores.”

“together we’ll weather wherever we steer!”

“mind is spacing. am i awake or have i died?”

“you’ve done this before, you’ll be alright.”

“some hallucination’s fine, no big deal.”

“he’ll hold me and i’ll kiss him and cry.”

“what was that in the distance?”

“i sounded like maybe––i don’t know.”

“who would care? who would notice if i turned up dead?”

“they’re too busy destroying the other one’s life.”

“anymore trick or treaters?”

“do you think we could go into the city next weekend?”

“nevermind, it was just an idea.”

“not moving on, not looking back, a life frustratingly flaccid.”

“last year’s mistake - i tried to break through the placid sheen.”

[detectivejigsawpines]

Abyss-finale (Raise a glass to freedom)

...I have never been drunk in my life. Because I don't drink. Therefore my knowledge of how to be drunk is very limited, and mostly based on the idea that it's similar to being very, very sleep-deprived (which I have been on probably far more occasions than is healthy for me). My suspicion is that if I did drink, I would be either a very giggly drunk, or a very angry drunk.

Reading the chapter to the end will clarify why this is valid.

“You what?!”

Shermie and Ford both stared at Stan, aghast, as he continued to scramble eggs after telling them how he’d essentially bought himself from their father.

Stan grinned.  “You shoulda seen the look on his face-it was even better than the time when we went to that restaurant with the triple-decker steak.”

Shermie snorted, hard.  “Oh wow...I always knew you were crazy, Stanley, but this-this exceeded even my expectations.”

He did a little theatrical bow, twirling the spatula between his fingers.  “That’s what I do best.”

When their mother came down, however, some of his ebullience-a lot of it, in fact-dissipated at the look on her face.

Ford’s stomach twisted in a hard knot, because even he could see that level of heartbreak.

Stan winced, and turned off the burner.  “...Hey, Mom.”

Mom looked up at him sadly for a moment, before at last whispering, “This isn’t gonna be fixed, is it?”

Stan let out a sigh that was equal parts sad and frustrated as he set down the spatula he’d been using.  “Whaddya want me ta do? Beg and plead for him ta say I’m part of the family again? It wouldn’t work, Mom, and even if it would…”

Even when he had still been mad at his brother, Ford knew he wouldn’t have wanted him to sacrifice his dignity to that extent.  He wanted it even less now, when he understood better what had happened and wasn’t a stupid hormonal teenager.

Mom was trying hard not to cry now.  “Stanley…”

“Am I gonna lose you too if I can’t make things up with him?” Stan suddenly asked.

It snapped Mom out of her despondency somewhat: her eyes widened, and then she jabbed a finger into her son’s chest.

“Stanley Pines!  What kinda mother ya take me for?!  What, ya think I’m gonna tell ya ta shove off just cuz your pa’s got a big stick up his-”

The rest of her words were muffled in Stan’s shirt as he pulled her into a hug.

“Just checkin’,” he whispered into her hair.  “Love ya too, Mom.”

********

Pa came down a while later, and sat stoically through breakfast, before telling Shermie, “Pack up the car when you’re done.  We’re leaving.”

Shermie blinked.  “Already?”

He nodded.  “Gotta get back to the shop.  The rubes ain’t gonna fleece themselves.”

The oldest son sighed.  “You got it, Pops.”

Pa gave him a sharp look at the slight insolence in his tone, but then went back to eating the eggs.

Since they hadn’t brought much, it didn’t take them long to get ready to leave.  Mom held both her boys tightly, wringing out promises for them to call her more often, and then Shermie took his turn for some more affectionate noogying and apologies for not getting to spend more time checking out their home.  Then they were putting their things in the car, leaving them alone on the porch with Pa.

Ford wondered if he was going to say-well, anything.

An apology was most likely too much to hope for, but-well, something.  Something to prove that he was a human being, not a robot.

All he did, though, was give a small nod, and then turn away and head for the car.

As they watched it drive back down the road, Ford said, “...We need to go to Dan’s place.”

“What for?”

“I need a drink.”

********

On the Corduroy cabin’s front porch, Dan poured out more of his family’s home-brewed liquor and handed it over.

“Sounds like you guys had a rough time.”

“...Wasn’t so bad, not after I gave ‘im the money,” Stan muttered into his glass.

“Ya shouldn’t’ve done that,” Ford scolded; his words slurred more than usual, finally making him sound like a Jersey boy for once.  “‘S wasted on ‘im. Prolly never even spend it.”

Stan shrugged, and held out his glass again.  “S’not my money anymore. I don’t care.”

The part of Ford’s brain still capable of rational thought wondered what exactly was in this Corduroy family recipe.  Dan had said it was apples...or mostly apples. Definitely had apples in it. It was powerful stuff, whatever it was; they’d only been doing this for half an hour and he’d already reached the point where the edges of his vision were going in and out of focus, and he needed to sit down even though he was already sitting down.  He squinted at Dan.

“How’re you handlin’ this stuff so well?  You’re lit-ral-lit-little-little-er-ally younger’n we are, you’ve had less years ta build up a tolerance for drink.”

Dan smirked.  “Guess I’m just manlier than you.”

Ford glared.  “Ha. Ha. You even drinkin’?”

Dan pointedly poured himself a glass of whatever-he-called this stuff (Crumble?  Scramble? Something like that), from the same bottle they’d been using, and gulped down a shot.

Stan whistled appreciatively.  “You’re good.”

“Got a lotta Scottish in my blood.  Makes it easy.”

“Nice.”

****

“...I shoulda stood up ta him better,” Ford muttered finally.

The other two stared at him.

“He started sayin’ all this crap about you bein’ a-a bad influence an’ stuff, Stanley, and I tried ta defend you, but I just...froze up.  I failed you again.”

“What?  No, nononono, don’t do that ta yourself.”  Stan scooted his chair over next to Ford’s, not heeding the horrible scraping noise it made on the wooden boards, and slung one big arm over his shoulder.  “S’not your fault, ‘kay? Dad’s-Mom says I got pershonality, but he’s got one too. Big one. Size’a New York City-big. Not an easy one ta go up against.”

“What, are you-are you sayin’ I don’t have personality?”  Ford gave Stan a wounded look.

“No, no, ‘course not.  Jus’ not a pers’nality used ta fightin’ people.  ‘Specially not Pa.” Stan squeezed him. “Not your fault.”  He ruffled Ford’s hair...and then gaped at it in wonder. “Whoa.  Your hair’s real...floofy. Heh heh. Floof, floof, floof.” He continued playing with it, giggling, until Ford swatted his hand.

He felt a little comforted by Stan’s words...but not much.  “S my job,” he insisted stubbornly, staring at the middle of Stan’s three faces floating before his eyes on the assumption that it was the real one.  “Needa...fix things. Last time-you were homeless cuz I couldn’t get over myself an’ help you, so I needa-”

“Hey, I shouldn’ta hung around your project, so I wouldn’t’ve broken it, so you coulda gone ta the dumb science college.  You’re more important than a boat, Sixer, an’I made ya feel like-likit was the other way ‘round.”  Stan suddenly snatched the bottle off the table, began chugging down the rest of its contents.

“Hey!  No fair, gimme that.”  Ford grabbed for it, leading to a sloppy tug-of-war that ended with the-grumble?  No, scumble, that was the name of this stuff-splashed all over both of them.

Ford put the bottle back on the table with a resigned sigh, and then wrapped his arm around Stan.

“You’re more important’n a college, St’nley,” he murmured, letting his heavy eyes droop shut.  “Shoulda remembered that too…”

****

Soon enough they were both snoring, completely passed out on each other.

Dan threw away the empty bottle, and went inside to grab a blanket, which he draped over both of them.  Then, as the effects of the scumble finally started to hit him, he just made himself comfortable stretching out on the porch.

********

When they wake up, all three boys are VERY hungover. Stan and Ford end up staying until they're feeling well enough to stand and walk home without throwing up, while Ford tries to deduce the ingredients for a hangover cure Fiddleford came up with in college. As best he recalls, it included a raw egg, Tabasco and Worcestershire sauce, but he could never get his friend to divulge the rest of it. He resolves to experiment until he deciphers it on his own-as soon as his head stops feeling like it's all stuffed with rocks that keep rolling around and banging into each other.

Stan has a few nightmares while he’s sleeping them off, but he doesn’t remember them that well when he wakes up, just being surrounded by a lot of indistinct whispers.

[ontherockswithsalt]

A Made Man

(ao3 story link)

A/N: lskdfa;kfgjgkbvklnlkvs Also I’m crying. 

Chapter 46.

“If I recognized the name, I would tell you,” Noble assures me from the passenger seat of my Mustang. We sit idle at the curb on my block after a noticeably quiet drive home from the gym. “You don’t think I’m trying to hide something do you?”

I lean back against the headrest, pausing for a slow inhale before I look at him. “No,” I answer. “I like to think that if you knew something, you’d tell me.”

“You like to think--”

“Mostly, yes. But you’ve been evasive with me in the past--”

“Whoa.” Noble’s eyes flash with this insulted cut. “What?”

“Times you owed a guy money, or you were flying in for some dodgy card game. And I had to pull the truth out of you.”

“Oh wow.” He says it loud with a nod as he turns to look out the front windshield. “Way to bring up shit from six months ago. So you don’t believe me.”

“Look, do I think you’d outright lie about knowing a guy who posed a potential threat to either one of us? No. But I think it’s a possibility that you may have crossed paths with him at some point and maybe you were oblivious--”

“Damn. So not only am I evasive, but I’m also a dumbass.”

“Noble. It was 2005 and probably before then. How should I know--?”

“Exactly. How should you know?”

“I’m asking!”

“And I said I never knew him!” He insists. “So why are we still talking about this?”

Swallowing the tightness in my throat, I don’t say anything for a minute, then eventually I cut the engine and pull out my keys. “Let’s just go in.”

The two of us push out of the car into the freezing late morning air and quickly make our way inside my building.

Up the stairs, we don't talk. I just get through the door and cross the apartment to toss my gym bag on the floor of my room when I hear Noble's voice from the living room.

“Maybe you’re looking for a problem where there’s no problem.”

“There’s no problem?” I question, coming out to meet him.

“It’s like you want me to know this guy. I don’t know him. So what now? Because you’re obviously not taking my word for it.”

“I’m not looking for a problem,” I tell him. “But I am being careful. And realistic. And considering you’re the one who wants to move to New York, I’d think you’d be the same way.”

“Oh, I’m the one.” He says it with this phony sense of realization, thoughtfully narrowing his eyes. “Huh.”

“You know what I mean--”

“How about you say what you fucking mean, Jamie.”

“Maybe we shouldn’t be talking about anybody moving just yet.”

Blinking, he glances away with a nod as if he’s considering it. “Great. So we’re just going to live twelve hundred miles apart until what?”

I have to scoff a quiet laugh. “Hasn’t that been the deal this whole time? Besides, you said that’s how it could be for as long as I need it.”

“Yeah, I said that and I’m realizing maybe I was wrong.”

I look at him without saying anything for a moment. 

He goes on. “That’s not what I want, Jay. If I’m being honest, I want to be here and actually have a life that’s like, worth something. With you. But if you’re telling me it’s not possible, then… I don’t know.”

“Why does it have to be New York?” I attempt. “Maybe a move to Miami should be on the table.”

“Oh right.” Noble laughs. “I’m already the enemy. But you move to Miami and your family would probably disown you. I don’t want to be responsible for that resentment--”

“It wouldn’t be like that--”

“How would you pull that off?” He questions. “You can’t even manage to tell anyone but your sister that you’re seeing someone.”

“That’s not fair, Noble.” I react from the sting in my chest. “I can’t go to my family and tell them anything until I have a solid plan for your protection. You act like you can just move back here a brand new person--”

“You kind of led me to believe that it was possible.”

“WitSec works because the witnesses are relocated, removed from the threat. Once you break that, nothing’s guaranteed. I don’t have magic strings to pull. If anything, I go to my dad about us and it blows up in our faces. He’ll ask me what was I thinking. He’ll tell me I put everyone at risk. My brother will lose his shit. God knows my grandpa won’t even be able to look at me,” I spout off. “It’s easy for you to stand there and claim I can’t bring myself to admit this to them. You don’t have as much to lose, Noble. You don’t have anybody.”

As soon as I say it, I feel sick. I close my eyes for a moment and wish I could take it back, rubbing fingertips across my forehead before I dare to glance up at him.

Noble just stands there, presses his lips together and looks away. I see him swallow hard, then nod faintly as if to accept that’s that.

“I mean--” I let out a breath that was swelling in my chest. “Anybody… who would demand an explanation from you--”

“No, I know what you meant,” he mutters. “You’re right.” Then he offers this matter of fact shrug and scratches a hand through his hair. “I’m gonna take a shower.”

I watch as he turns, makes his way to the bathroom and closes the door.

There’s this pressure just in the hollow of my ribcage and it starts to rise until I feel it in my throat. Fuck. I can’t do anything but move to sink down on the couch, letting my hands catch my heavy head.

I’m the reason he doesn’t have anybody. And while I have no regrets about the necessary steps we took that led to that outcome, I know it never gets any easier for him to fully accept. 

Maybe I had led Noble to believe he could move to New York. We talk about it all the time and I want it so bad. I think about him here, working and living in the city, the two of us having this relationship that feels just as easy day to day as it does when we're alone together on hidden weekends. I imagine meeting up for a movie on a random weeknight, catching dinner in the city after work. If I ever manage to be recognized on Medal Day, I want him there with my family. 

But I had to know that eventually, I’d hit a dead end with all the hoping and daydreaming and actually have to make a real life decision.

I convince myself to get up, heading to the kitchen to do something mindless. At the sink, I wash last night’s wine glasses and this morning’s coffee mugs. 

I’m cleaning up the counter when I hear the shower turn off and Noble comes out of the bathroom. Glancing up, I see him cross to my bedroom, a towel around his waist, then he disappears. 

After a few hesitant moments, I trail him there and linger in the doorway to my room. “Noble, I’m sorry,” I speak up. “I shouldn’t have said that.”

He hops into his jeans, fastening them but he still won’t look at me. Around the room, he gathers some of his stray things -- a sweatshirt off the chair in the corner, the gym clothes he’d worn earlier -- and begins to fit them inside of his bag. 

Finally, he sniffs, passes a hand across his mouth and turns to me. “It’s a lot for you to face,” he says. “A lot I don’t have. So--” Then one shoulder lifts and he returns to his bag.

“No, but that was a dick thing to say.”

“I’m alright,” he murmurs absently.

I just watch him, acutely aware of the distress that clouds his features and gives away that his mind is somewhere else. 

I gesture to his packing. “Don’t go. Please. Your flight’s not ‘til four.”

He snaps a clean t-shirt out of his bag and slips it on. “I need to go. And we need to end this.”

Something sinks straight through my gut like some possessed freefall carnival ride and it scorches my core. “What--”

“I don’t want a fight about it. Let’s just be real, Jamie.”

The deep, soft rumble of his voice is sobering and catches me off guard, I hardly know where to even start.

“There’s no… point,” he continues after pulling on the grey sweater he had decided against the morning before. “In all this. I’m not gonna put you in this position to be… disgraced by your family--”

“Noble--”

“I mean ultimately, we’re both better off going our separate ways." He exhales hard and tips his head down. “It’ll be fucking painful. Because… I love you so damn hard.”

When he rasps the sentiment, I cough out an unexpected breath, heat stinging behind my eyes. 

“But we gotta cut it off,” he finishes. 

Finally, I find some air. “No, I never said--”

“I’m saying it,” he tells me. “I don’t want to feel like this. Like there’s no good outcome. Like what we are, what I am, is some problem. Some fucking burden.” At this point, he’s just kind of mumbling to himself as he heads to the nightstand where he unplugs his phone charger.

“Noble, stop. You know that’s not what I think.”

“Regardless, this was unavoidable.” He decides it with this resigned shrug, not indifferent just… like an athlete accepting defeat after a championship, acknowledging that he played his hardest. “You’ll be fine. I’ll be fine.” Then he stops his determined pursuit for a moment and scratches the back of his head. “I guess we shouldn’t have gotten in so deep. I don’t know."

"How can you say there's no good outcome? That's not true."

"That's just the sense I get," he explains. Picking up a plaid button down shirt off the chair, he goes to pack it and realizes aloud "This is yours," before he tosses it on the bed. "I don't want to get to a point where you're catching heat from your family about me and I'm forced to like, plead my case that I'm not some goddamn criminal.  And it'd just be endless scrutiny that'll eventually wear on you. On us."

I don't know how to sway this argument because he's right. This is where I'm supposed to fight for him. For us. But I'm just fucking stunned. He's way too calm about it all and it's making me panic in this delayed swell that’s about to overtake me.

He heads across the hall and comes back a minute later with his things from the bathroom, drops them by his bag and then leaves again. I turn to the edge of my bed and lean over to rest my hands there, holding myself up but I hang my head and attempt a deep inhale. The thoughts and reason trapped in my brain refuse to provide me with anything persuasive.

When he makes his way from the living room, his boots are on and he’s carrying his coat and I manage to land on something to say. "This is a pretty big one-eighty after everything we said last night."

Noble hesitates before he lays the coat on the bed and adds more to his duffel bag. Glancing down, he’s quiet a moment as if to recall that shower. "I meant all of that. And I still do." He clears his throat. "That's why it has to end clean. We say goodbye… and it's done. I can't do texts and phone calls and trying to be friends."

"Whoa--" I scoff, glancing up. What the fuck? 

"It's the only way I know how to do it, Jamie."

I manage to stand up straight and I spread my hands. "What are you saying? I can't even talk to you?"

He blinks and looks over at me. A faint shine lines the rims of his eyes but he glances away. “Hey, we did it before,” he tries to joke. But it just about wrecks me. 

I hear my own voice catch when I ask him, “How can I make you stay?”

Noble shakes his head. Then he pulls the zipper to his bag closed. “Don’t, Jamie,” he murmurs. “You can’t. Okay?"

My heart is pounding in my ears so loud, heavy like lead, it’s almost like I don’t even hear him. I can’t get my chest to fill up with anything. I don’t know where the air goes. 

“I gotta get out of here,” he utters, grabbing his coat as he lifts his bag onto his shoulder. He moves toward me where I’ve been frozen to the floor in the middle of my bedroom. 

With his gaze fixed down, he merely drags his palm along my stomach in this cursory way as he passes, like it was without thinking, before his hand falls to his side. 

With another few steps, his boots announcing his departure, he turns out of my room and heads for the door. 

And just as suddenly as he dropped into my life and changed everything, he's gone.

[pendulum-sonata]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Shoujo Kakumei Utena | Revolutionary Girl Utena Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Characters: Kiryuu Nanami, Shinohara Wakaba Additional Tags: Character Study, Post-Canon, Introspection, Memory Alteration, Repressed Memories, Utena Future Zine, This is basically my take, on how Nanami's life would have been, after graduating Ohtori, I swear I love Nanami, I'm not trying to make her suffer, Just for the hell of it, Sexual Harassment Summary:

The outside world has left Nanami en enbittered woman, down on her luck and with little hope. A chance encounter with an old classmate helps her get back on her feet.

This is my work for the @utenafuturezine Now available for download here!

‘I don’t want to get up, I don’t want to get up, I don’t…’

But the music on the radio got louder and louder and she knew the moment the annoying voice of the conductor came in she would be unable to go back to sleep, what time was it anyway? Without removing the covers her hand fished for her cellphone.

7:05 am.

She had an interview at 9:00 am.

‘Uugh... I will count until ten, and then I’ll wake up...”

One, two, three, four...

“Damn it!” Nanami kicked the bed covers and got up, feeling her messy hair falling around her shoulders, she had to blink a few times and scroll down her phone to finally wake up and start for the day.

There, perched on the bathroom room were the clothes she prepared for today, somehow... they looked better last night, she didn’t like how the dark blue looked a little too ...dark, as if she was going to a funeral rather than (hopefully) to work.

She didn’t have time to go through her clothes again.

That was what she kept telling herself as she opened her closet, pulling out shirts and pants... or maybe a skirt would do? Nanami shook her head, skirts made you look juvenile and they were not professional; but none of the combinations made her feel satisfied.

But then a pale yellow shirt from way below all her stuff peeked at her, in her mind she already knew the color would be perfect; even though it was obvious the shirt was old for her not to remember when she bought it, it didn’t look worn off, the color wasn’t too vibrant that it stung your eye, in fact it was the perfect shade to compliment her hair...

Of course the universe loved to bait her, because when she lifted it to her eyes there it was:  the garish logo of a restaurant, the one where she had first worked as a waitress for almost a year.

‘Why do I even still have this?’ She wondered and for a full minute she could only remember the embarrassment of it, all the shifts, the rude and lechery customers and the miserable pay... when she opened her eyes the shirt was crumpled in her hands with such force that it felt like she could have teared it apart piece by piece...

She couldn’t afford to throw away a perfectly good shirt though.

And with the perfect accessories, vest and jacket, nobody would be able to look at the logo in the shirt (Why did it have to be printed? if it only was sewn in...).

Nanami resigned herself and went to make herself a quick breakfast, a quick make over, a quick hairdo and quickly started to gather everything she would need; train ticket? Check, money? Check, keys? Check, phone? Check!

‘Best of luck to myself!’

ᴥ

“Watch were you’re going!” She got up to her feet before anyone noticed she had fallen, wincing when she felt a pang in her knee.

Fortunately her pants had not sustained any damage or stain, but she still looked around, ready to yell at the guilty person who crashed into her-

“Oh god! I’m so sorry! Are you alright?” The woman in question didn’t seem to notice how angry Nanami was, there was nothing remarkable about her: medium height, brown hair and average complexion, the most noteworthy thing about her was her shrilling voice that made her want to get away as soon as possible.

Nanami was not in the mood for this. She tried to walk past her, but the woman quickly stood on her way.

“Move! I’m gonna lose my train or do you want me to be late too?” She practically growled.

“Oh, sorry you’re right! Let me pay you for a cab then!” The woman said again and when Nanami saw her reach for her purse she lost it.

“Who the hell do you think I am!? I don’t need for your charity!” Once she said this, Nanami stormed out without even waiting for an answer, she didn’t need to arrive in a cab, she didn’t want to, and she most definitely didn’t want to own some random woman in the street a favor so she just kept walking to her station.

Dread filled her every time she saw the train cart full of people almost squished against the windows, when some people came out of she realized that she needed to be quick, otherwise she would have to take the next train, she was quick to walk past all the people next to her and secure her place.

Commuting using the train was a living nightmare.

Unfortunately it was also the cheapest and faster, so it wasn’t like she had lots of options, meaning that here she was, squished between dozens upon dozens of employees, both men and women, she looked with envy to the ones that wore their casual clothes and comfortable shoes, no, not because they have super nice clothes – they were all cheap common clothes anyway – but because it meant that they already had a job and their office uniform waiting for them.

She teared her eyes away from the sight, her station was the last one in the route anyway so by the time she made it, and the train would most likely be empty anyway.

ᴥ

It was packed.

The place where they would all be waiting for their interviews was packed, and she hated herself for admitting this – only in her thoughts, never out loud – but they all resembled her: wearing their best clothes, their hair done modestly but still professional...

She didn’t want to think about it anymore and just walked to the receptionist, gave her name and her papers and sat, far away from the other girls chatting away in purpose.

It was a long time, or at least it felt like a really long time, even the games and apps she had in her phone didn’t do much to distract her, her shoes tapped fast onto the floors and looked around the place looking for something, anything to focus on that wasn’t the clock on the wall, but there was nothing.

“Kiryuu Nanami?” She perked up immediately when she heard her name and entered the office the lady at the desk signaled for.

Inside there was an old man, his wrinkles and glasses made Nanami think vaguely of a grandpa, but she already knew companies put their best ‘face’ for these things, so she had to be careful with what she said.

“Miss Kiryuu? Please take a seat?” Ugh, even his voice sounded gentle and soft, no doubt this guy was a professional.

“Pleased to meet you.” Nanami put on her best smile and used her perfect posture – one that allowed her to make use of her best assets without looking unprofessional – and answered his questions, most of them were the usual:  her age, experience, career, how did she find out about the position, etc.

“Excellent Miss, now, everything seems to be in order, but may I ask when can we expect your family registry? It’s not an optional requisite.”

And just like that Nanami knew it was a lost cause.

ᴥ

It was just another day; tomorrow would be another.

Nanami put these words on repeat while she waited for the train back home, but the fact that she had lost not just the morning but the entire day in that office and that she was starting to see a lot of people who were coming back from work didn’t really help her mood, so she got ready to squish herself once more for the sake of arriving to her apartment and forget this entire day had happened.

Once inside the train, trapped between a woman who had her case in front of her which dug painfully into her shoulder and a guy whose breaths were hitting her right in the face, the world decided once more play her for a fool.

Because she felt a hand –  a grown man’s hand – going from her back then to her butt.

For a full minute her mind went blank because she couldn’t believe on top of everything this had happened to her now, the moment it finally dawned on her what was happened she tried to squirm to get away from the groping but it only resulted on the people throwing dirty looks at her, and her arms were now twisted in weird angle that would probably result on more pain later on.

She was trapped.

During the entire trip until the next station she tried to think of the things she needed to buy for the week, tried to make the budget too, tried to remember the lyrics of that one song in the radio she really liked it, anything to not think about the hand on her.

‘Only a bit more Nanami, only a little more, hang in there, then you can unleash all your fury onto them and…’

*ARRIVING TO THE STATION, PLESE CLEAR UP THE ENTRANCE.*

What?!

The thought got stuck on her head when she was almost barreled by a group of people all hurrying past here, she was sure she might have given a few turns in between people and maybe earned a couple of bruises from the things people were carrying and scrapping her in the meantime.

After she was able to focus again she realized the car was almost empty again except for a couple of old ladies.

“You got to be kidding me!” Her heels stomped on the floor and she stormed out of the cart, maybe if she hurried she would be able to-

Nothing, there were too many people on the platform and most of them were dressed the same.

“You pervert!!!” The yelling doesn’t come from her but from behind her where a security guard is standing in front of a woman and another man who looks like wants to get away, especially because the yelling starts to attract attention from everyone else.

He can’t of course because a lithe as looks the woman has an iron grip on his wrist, when she tries to get close, she can see the guard is not taking seriously anything the woman says, if anything he looks bored and other people are doing nothing but whisper around them.

“I know what I saw!!” The woman suddenly looks around her and fixes her eyes on Nanami and she just froze in place. “Nanami you tell them! He groped you! I saw him!!”

It’s in that moment that she realizes is the same woman from this morning, the one who made her trip and apparently decided she looked pitiful enough to offer her a ride! Nanami had half her mind to disagree with her – she still felt her teeth grind at the thought – and embarrass her, but when she looked at the guy who was doing his best to look as if he was completely innocent.

She had no way of knowing if had been the pervert who grabbed her butt, it had been impossible for her to see anything about the man, but the shifty way he looked when Nanami tried to look into his eyes made her realize that even if he didn’t grab her, he had definitely done that to someone else.

Or maybe not, in true Nanami was just tired of being a cosmic plaything for the day, let someone else take the brunt for her.

So, she summoned her best laugh and pointed at the man with all her might.

“You pervert!” She yelled. “You took advantage of me! I could see your dirty face when you grabbed me! In. my. Ass. And now you’re trying to get away with it!! Like hell I will let you do it!” She grabbed her phone and snapped a shot from the guy, who was now so scared that he looked blue in the face. “And you!” She pointed to the guard now who flinched when she pointed at him. “Isn’t your job to attend to all security matters in the platform? Aren’t you supposed to make people feel safe? Well, I can tell I didn’t feel safe, I’m disgusted by this man, but I’m more disgusted by you! Who don’t even bother to take their job seriously and allow scum like him to get away with things?” She snapped another shot of him, making sure his plaque and name were visible on her picture – she knew the camera with 10 megapixels had been worth it – and she showed it to him. “Just so you know if you don’t process this complain, I’m not gonna bother with your bosses, I’m going to post these on the internet and you will be ruined along with these man’s reputation!”

“Well, you heard her? Is that what you want?” The woman who had been looking shocked while she was yelling was now standing next to her looking proud. “You know nowadays, news fly right?”

Both men shared a dismayed look specially when other people were pulling out their phones too, some of them taking pictures others were probably tweeting about it and the guard finally escorted Nanami to his office.

ᴥ

After filling out some papers and giving out her information, and also gotten the information from the man, who had to be detained until actual police arrive from the looks of it, she excused herself, she didn’t want to make more of a deal than it already was, and at the very least she still had the pictures in case she found the same idiot again.

Nanami doubted anything would come out of the whole thing, but at the very least it had improved her mood a lot.

“That was so cool Nanami!” She almost screeched when she chirpy voice of the same woman caught her off guard. “I can’t believe what you actually threatened that guy!”

Wait… how did this broad even knew her name, even before when she called it, Nanami had been a little to swept into getting some well-deserved retribution to think about it too hard, but she had no idea who this woman was, she knew her name and this was the second time in a row that she conveniently found her…

Oh dear, was she dealing with a stalker?

“I can’t believe I found you here! It’s been so long since we were both in Ohtori Academy right?”

Or maybe not… was she a classmate? She looked around the same age as her, although it was hard to tell, she couldn’t have been one of her friends or popular people because she was sure she would remember that, but she was talking to her so casually, there was no other alternative.

“Y-yes! I suppose it has!” And she didn’t feel like making a fool out of herself for a second time in a single day.

“We have so much to catch up to! Oh, I know!” How could a grown woman look this excited and skip like that and not break her heel? It was a mystery for her. “Let’s have dinner together!”

In any other time Nanami would have been freaked out about having someone’s face so close to hers, but this time she took the chance to get a good look at her, to see if any feature struck a chord with her.

…Nothing, just like this morning her appearance was completely normal and that meant completely unremarkable and forgettable too. She did have a very large forehead though, still, she had her hair styled in a way that it complemented her features rather than call attention to it, Nanami would give her that much.

“Dinner? Uh…” She was actually very hungry, because she had spent the entire day at the office waiting for her interview, Nanami had not gotten any lunch, breakfast had been her only meal… but it’s already the second half of the month and she can’t afford to eat out, she has a bunch of cup ramen waiting for her at theapartment. “I don’t know, it’s pretty late and…”

“Oh come on!” The woman took her hand this time and got the most ridiculous face on her, teary eyes and pouting almost resembling a puppy. “I’m inviting you so dinner it’s on me!”

From all the things that could bait her, those were the ones she couldn’t refute.

And her belly decided to answer in her place.

ᴥ

She didn’t have a bad taste in restaurants, Nanami decided.

Even if it wasn’t anything too fancy – and really those types of restaurants where for romantic dates, not for friendly outings – the place had a warm and welcoming atmosphere, it also had the added bonus of having booths so they could have some privacy even if they were only two people, and the food smelled delicious, she hadn’t had lots of filling meals in a while now.

It was funny really, years ago she wouldn’t have even thought about putting a foot inside one of these… family restaurants.

Once they were seated and the waitress gave them a couple of menus, the woman kept chatting about their days back at school and despite herself Nanami tried not to let the guilt gnaw at her gut, because she really couldn’t be making out stuff on the spot and the fact she was buying her a meal… people did not do that for strangers they met for five minutes during middle school.

“…Anyway, that was quite a graduation ceremony! Some of my college buddies still tell the story whenever we get together and I think from that moment on, the rules on formal clothing were much more specific!” She laughed when she finished saying this and Nanami tried not to make herself sound too fake, lost in her musing she had not heard a word of what she said.

The waitress bringing them their drinks bought her some time.

“That sounds like quite a story, mmmh, how about in middle school though? We had some pretty weird stories right?” That’s right maybe if she shared a story she might remember! Or at least pretend until the food came and the bill was paid.

The woman looked like she was thinking for a long moment, she looked straight at her, not a hard stare or judging in anyway, but Nanami still felt as if she was being examined.

“Say…” She paused to take a sip of her drink.  “…you don’t really know who I am right?”

Time stopped and it was hard to breath because she was busy sputtering the water, her nose burned because she had asked it to be ice cold and godammit, this woman did it on purpose because this was the most ridiculous thing that could happen to her. She also felt someone patting her back and putting a napkin close to her mouth.

“Wakaba, what happened?” It was probably the waitress.

“Sorry, sorry, that was my fault.”

Wakaba…

‘Utena, aren’t you going to give a present to your best friend in the entire world?’

Who was the person who kept saying that? In her mind Nanami saw a girl, she couldn’t see her face clearly, the only thing she remembered was that she was a tomboy, countless of memories of this girl playing rowdy sports, wearing boy’s clothes, talking like a boy and with overall unladylike manners, the girl annoys her to no end, of that she is sure because she feels a vein in her head throb at the mere sight of her. There is also another girl, this one doesn’t annoy her, she wishes she would only annoy her, but no, the knot on her stomach and the chills running down her back whenever that girl was concerned were real and always made her feel like she entered a lion’s den.

Next to her, the tomboy girl’s oddness was welcome.

And of course she thinks she remembers another girl, she’s always there too, always following the other two around as if she was a puppy, she’s not annoying or scary like the them, she doesn’t remember anything about her, only her trailing behind the other two girls.

“Nanami? Are you alright? Can you see me? How many fingers am I holding?”

“I’m fine!!!” She yelled to whoever was holding three fingers right into her face, of course that attracted the attention of the other customers and Nanami wished she could sink into her seat.

“Sorry, you weren’t reacting and I was afraid you had choked or something.” She sounded genuinely sorry and that alone made her back down, also because she still felt her throat sore.

“I’m sorry Miss, was the water too cold? I can bring you more.” The waitress while weel-intentioned, looked less concerned for Nanami and more for being written up by her manager.

She couldn’t say she blamed her.

“Another glass is fine, thank you.”

“Right away Miss, oh Wakaba are you on shift tonight?” The waitress was talking to Wakaba now.

“No, I asked the day off.” Said Wakaba denying with her head.

The fell into an awkward silence after that, how could they not? How was she supposed to talk to her now that she outed herself as not really knowing her? They didn’t have any shared interest or hobbies and didn’t even seem to frequent the same circles as to ask about that either.

Then again it wasn’t like Nanami had kept in touch with her old classmates.

“So… you work here?” She has no trouble picturing Wakaba in the role of a waitress, she was tact, patient and give off was friendly enough to make small talk to customers, all things she herself absolutely failed at. “You don’t look like one to work on night shift though.”

She realized too soon that she had spoked the last thing out loud, Wakaba seemed to realize too and giggled a little.

“All my shifts are at night Nanami, I’m a bartender.” She pointed to the bar where right now there was another older guy mixing and serving drinks. “Mr. Kobayashi is going to retire soon, and he’s teaching me all he knows before that, so I guess you could say I’m like an apprentice.”

Nanami didn’t even knew women were permitted to become bartenders and she stopped herself right in time, that would have probably been rude and she had already called her a goody-two-shoes before, but what did she even knew about Wakaba to know if this was expected from her? She didn’t even remember her 5 minutes ago and what she remembered was so small that she could laugh at herself.

“So, Nanami what have you been up to? I noticed this morning that you were going to the corporate district.” Wakaba’s enthusiasm and self-contented smile was contagious and she found herself smiling too, wishing to have something exciting to share, something worth of her attention.

‘Not much, I was going to an interview, after finishing college, a gig as an intern I have been between jobs for the past year.’ Hmph, didn’t that sound pathetic?

While she thought about this, the waitress had finally brought their food, but Nanami had lost her apetite.

“Sorry, sorry, it’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it,” Wakaba apologized, even thought she was only making small talk, she was definitely nicer than herself. “I can only imagine how it has been for you and your brother.”

If a bull had entered the restaurant, trashed everything around just to take Nanami on its back to a faraway island, she would feel less shocked than she felt now and of course the shock gave way to embarrassment, the way Wakaba used her hand to cover half of her face was enough confirmation that she knew and that she was aware that she wasn’t supposed to know.

Ugh, her day couldn’t possibly suck anymore so she may as well get on with it.

“What else there is to say? That as it turned out neither me or Touga were our parents’ real children?” Back in school Nanami had thought that was the worst thing that had happened her, now she wished that was the only secret. “And not only that, we weren’t actually adopted, we were bought off, kept and groomed only to fulfill their wishes and ambitions, and that when Touga and I refused to do what they demanded from us – I was eighteen when they wanted me married off to a business partner who was old enough to be my grandfather – we were thrown out from the house and disowned?” Disown was such a proper word because they had been nothing but property to these people. “So go ahead and pity me, laugh in my face like I did to you and your friends so long ago.”

Nanami doesn’t want to look up to see Wakaba’s eyes, filling with disdain or pity.

“I… don’t want to do that.” Is the only thing Wakaba said, “I just thought I could cheer you up because you look so… tired”

Tired? Yes, that was the perfect word to describe how she had been feeling for quite a while now, not physically tired, but mentally and emotionally tired and done with everything around her.

“Do you ever wish things would have gone different? To just… give in to what people wanted from you?” It was a good question one that she herself had asked herself many times.

“There are… many things that I regret, sometimes I like telling to myself that if I could go back, knowing what I know now, I would do things different, better…” What she kept to herself though, was that another part of her knew she wouldn't do anything to change. “… And I do wish someone would have told me how hard it was to simply live by, how expensive it is, how many basic skills you need and I never learned until I had no one to lean onto than my equally incompetent brother.” There had been many times when she had become tempted to run back and beg for forgiveness and promise to be a good girl this time but… “No, I still wouldn’t do it.”

How could she? After a particularly nasty fight with Touga about it which had led to a very unceremonious reveal of what exactly their so-called parents had ‘requested’ from him, what they had took from him right under her nose.

“How do you know?” Nanami asked, she knew that it couldn't be Touga, he had nothing to gain from a girl like Wakaba.

“I don’t know if I should tell you, you would probably go hunt him down.” Wakaba laughed a little but it was obvious she wasn’t entirely kidding on the last sentence.

And there was only another person close enough to either of them to know the full story, and yes, Nanami could feel her fists balling at her sides and her mind was relishing into some payback fantasies.

“Idiot, as if I have time to waste on doing any of that.” After all, she knew he and Touga were still in contact, if she had wanted she would have no troubles contacting him, he had been the first one to reach out to them and had acted so sickly concerned that it was disgusting, her bruised pride had not let her think anything else back then.

“You know? At first I thought that you had not changed at all, but that was silly of me to think right? Everyone changes, you, your brother, even Saionji.” The blush that crept to Nanami’s face was not unwelcomed, it made her feel giddy even.

“I guess…” She picked the fork and started to play a little with her food, not knowing what to say in exchange, she had no frame of reference to know if Wakaba had changed… she did remember one thing though. “Well, feel proud of yourself, without his annoying fanclub around, you can finally have Saionli for yourself right?”

After all, if he had confided Wakaba with such sensitive information that meant they were in more than just speaking terms.

She didn’t expect the laughter that came from Wakaba.

“Oh I hardly doubt it, I’m not his type, and he’s no longer mine either.” Had that been because they both changed or because now adulthood gave them new perspectives, more options?   “You know?” She doubted for a second and her voice got quitter. “Back then, he practically begged me to talk to the manager about getting you a job.”

That was when Nanami finally noticed the name of the place on the cups and the napkins: it was the same name as the place she started her life as a working girl, the same name printed on the shirt she had so carefully hidden.

“Is not the same, I doubt your memory is that bad.” She laughed again. “the owner has a couple places all over the city and the prefecture….”

The only reason Nanami is not banging her head against the table is because she wants to think she still has a minimum of manners, she just started eating her meal, which had already gotten cold, but beggars can’t be choosers, they both ate in silence for quite a while, the only sounds coming from them were the cutlery scrapping against the plates.

“Hey Nanami…” Wakaba started. “You think we could hang out again? It’s nice to have someone from school to talk to.” She was smiling again, and Nanami could now see why people – even people like Saoinji – wanted to keep talking to her: it was easy, she didn’t have any grandiose expectations of people or even herself and life, it was… normal, comfortable.

“I… guess I can make a place on my schedule.” She exchanged phones with her without many words, and when she checked it, she couldn’t help notice there was another number she added.

“I don’t want to meddle, but maybe you too could call Saionji every once in a while?” Wakaba didn’t say that he too worried about her, but the sentiment was there nonetheless.

Nanami didn’t know what to say, all this new information didn’t let her think clearly and now she felt like she really had to re-acquaintance herself with the guy, only to see if he really was not an idiot anymore.

“Maybe.” She immediately took another bite, she had a lot of things to think about.

[emmelfish]

‘After woohoo, I like to celebrate with a long hike to ponder the fact that my wife being pregnant means it’ll be a while before we can have more babies.’

Pfft, keep dreaming John. Like that want about playing for tips, nice try – you have zero creativity points. Stick to wanting to praise Tabby, becoming besties with Lucy, and befriending Darren. Also if it’s so hot maybe you should take off your outerwear when you get inside?

FACK

John: What’s the best thing about gardening? Getting down and dirty with your hoes!

Jen: These interactions ALWAYS result in one of us walking away with minus points, why would you think this one would be any different? Anyway, come look at this, you’ll like this.

Jen: LOOK! He’s watching sports on TV like he’s people!

John: Oh that’s adorable! Hey speaking of sports, how is woohoo like a game of bridge?

Jen: *screams internally*

Finally, Jen gets to hang out with some intelligent lifeforms.

Jen: Alright. ‘Examine the lives of the best and the most fruitful sim and sims and ask yourself whether a tree which is supposed to grow to a proud height could do without bad weather and storms: whether misfortune and external resistance, whether any kinds of hatred, jealousy, stubbornness, mistrust, hardness, greed and violence do not belong to the favorable conditions without which any great growth even of virtue is scarcely possible?’

Tabby: Screw this.

Jen: ‘The poison from which the weaker nature perishes strengthens the strong sim – and he does not call it poison.’

John: My wife! I am so proud of you for reading to our child and furchildren and yet-to-be-born children AND getting a golden ticket to My Muse from the spiky-haired man because of your musical talent.

(Hey it’s Justin Kim again! Wonder if he’s come searching for his Hot Tub Time Machine mom.) 

Justin: I’m a child and even I know that if you jump on her like that it’s not good for your yet-to-be-born children.

Pop

Jen: The hell is this?

John: You said you wanted new clothes. 

Jen: But blue is so not my color.

John: But darling, now you match my shorts! 🎵Off to tend to my peppers I shall go...

Glitches

John: 🎵 With a broken arm, yes oh-ee-oh

Another day, another dollar simoleon...

Jen: TUCKER II! You lucrative little furball, thank you so much for pulling your weight while Mommy is carrying so much of it and thus can’t work herself, all thanks to that great big tit I’m married to.

John: What’s that?

Jen: I said is that the Greater Blue-Tit you’ve spotted there dear?

John: I think it is!

Jen: YAY I am so proud of you!

John: Me too!

John: Unff

I’m sorry, I can’t suspend my disbelief with this game any longer because Lucy IS the classmate that saw the rated R movie, and would be the one describing boobies and butts and bloody violence to the innocent child this chance card was actually meant for. So I picked Ignore, because a) no, and b) chance cards are bullshit, they have a 99.999999999999% chance of undoing all your good work in any scenario.

Oh looky who it is! Everyone’s favorite Desiderata resident. And, three nanoseconds of a chat with Jen results in Jen’s crumpled face of confusion and Natasha’s hatred thought bubble. Shame, really.

I’ve noticed the community tends to call her Nat, but all the Natashas I’ve known in my life (all two of them) go for Tash or Tasha. I’m torn. I’ll tell you what I’m NOT torn on. Her exquisite grilled cheese dress by the exquisite @strangetomato, amirite? 🧀

GO TABS!

Good: Tabby promoted Good: Smart investing Bad: Justin falling out with Lucy, probably because he was the kid the chance card was meant for and she was traumatizing him with talk of blood and boobies. I’m not gonna lose sleep over it, he’s all the way out in Viper Canyon so it wasn’t like they were gonna be besties in childhood. Maybe at college or something.

This family, I swear. They’re like the sim embodiment of Bender’s ‘impression of life at big Bri’s house’ in The Breakfast Club.

That’s if, uh, Bri’s parents constantly make sexually-charged advances toward one another. 

Meanwhile, dat text doe! Brandi Broke Hair Hour is upon us.

Jen: Sweetie I’ve found myself wearing something I wouldn’t choose even if it were the last garment on the planet and I’m scared.

Lucy: It’s okay Mom, if I’ve lost all respect for you it’s primarily because I’m on the precipice of puberty and that’s what’s supposed to happen.

John: The heck is this? I’m the Family sim here. You can’t have it both ways.

John: THAT’S more like it. Hai little bestie!

Lucy: Hai Dad! Why are all these people in our house?

John: Oh, well Brandi Broke was on a walkby so I wanted to paint a picture of what your hair will look like tomorrow so that you’re prepared. And I got one of those annoying messages about whether I’d been abducted by aliens from Darren even though I spoke to him yesterday, so I felt guilty.

Meanwhile, Jennifer stares longingly at her guitar and gets all introspective about this five-minute lack of romance in her life, exacerbated by Brandi heartfarting at Darren. That Family/Knowledge attraction, it never fails. And yet, somehow I can’t see Dustin and Dirk as stepbrothers, but we need to find Brandi someone soon as she needs to up her brood to six for that stupid LTW about marrying off multiple kids. WHAT IF UNBORN BABYBROKE ISN’T THE MARRYING KIND, Brandi, ever think of that?!

(Makes mental note to create drahmz by making Unborn Babybroke a Romance sim who constantly disappoints its mother)

Jen: Oh that DOES it. You lot might be able to sit around waiting for these babies to fall out of me but I have to DO something.

Brandi you utter utter terrible stupid moron you are PENNILESS WHY are you tipping Jen all those simoleons 😱

Lucy meanwhile stares at her father and tries to picture Brandi’s hair on his face in a vain attempt to glimpse into her near future.

And yet... are these two meant to be though? The synchronized terrible dancing and constant thoughts of one another may be a sign. That said, Dina Caliente does that with Darren too and, much as I love Darren and Dina as individuals, the thought of that is so godawfully wrong that I always have to direct sims to speak with each of them separately in an attempt to stop them autonomously eating one another’s faces whenever they always show up in the same GD welcome wagon. #StopDinarren #SaveTheDreamers #ACRYouMonster

Lucy manages to alienate yet another boy from districts afar (like does her schoolbus refuel in Viper Canyon or something?) by saying things about art or theater that offend Gallagher Newson so deeply, he launches a tirade of vitriolic mansplaining at her while she checks her nails, unfazed. Atta girl. 

Brandi: I wish we could all get along like we used to in middle school... I wish I could bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles and everyone would eat and be happy...

Best not look outside then Bran.

Tabby: Huh? Yeah? You want some o’ this? Come at me bro!

Tabby: Oh you think I can’t take you? Think again assclown, I’m a stunt double now, I eat fear FOR BREAKFAST.

And so the thrill ride begins. Lucy’s face is that unique mixture of anxiety and resignation that plainly says, ‘Well, my reign is at an end. It’s been real, friends.’

I love Tucker II, but the fact that he chooses THIS moment to act out for the first time in his life and start destroying the furniture is far from cool. Clearly he too is worried about upcoming changes in the pack hierarchy.

Stone cold Tabs meanwhile favors staying outside in the rain and having no part in any of this.

Tabby: 🎵 Hello darkness my old friend...

Urgh

IS NOOBOO TIME!

Spoiler alert: this nooboo actually ends up with blue eyes because I quit without saving to roll the pacifier a couple times, which is sad because neither nooboo has black hair now. But we’ll survive. Somehow. I just liked this snap.

When both your dog and your seconds-old nooboo are thinking about Brandi, it’s probably time for her to leave the house. But she won’t, because she’s a Family sim who subscribes to the stereotype of only caring about other people’s children. And pets.

3 days off? Pahaha. I don’t even have any hacks installed to share parental leave (I really should), and Jen was somehow still back at work the next day.

Poor Babygirl Burb (not her permanent name) isn’t getting a great start in life considering everybody’s just yelling about Babyboy Burb and not even acknowledging her. Well, except Jen, who hasn’t yet put her down. See that, Family sims?! That’s how to do it.

Case in point.

Brandi: Congrats!

John: Oh yeah, the nooboos? Great aren’t they. I’m sure I dropped The Boy around here somewhere.

The Boy: And my suffering beginneth...

John: The Boy! Ah, The Boy. There you are. The Boy.

(If you can’t already tell, John will be saying ‘The Boy’ in the same relieved and happy voice as the dad from 8 Simple Rules for the rest of his natural life, primarily because both of his daughters are genetically engineered to make his hair grey.)

Hey Brandi, ever feel like you’re intruding on an intimate family moment?

Brandi: Nup!

Lucy: I just can’t picture it ON me...

Brandi: Kid, what is it with you and my hair?

John: I’VE LOST THE BOY AGAIN

Lucy: Haha, my parents can be so incompetent sometimes.

Lucy: Actually... where are my parents?

Well Lucy, get ready to upscale that judgment of incompetence because...

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME. John’s face. John’s face right there. Is the most smackable face I’ve ever seen.

Not only did Jennifer Burb give birth TO TWINS less than five minutes ago...

... but they unceremoniously dumped both twins in the Bouncinators, and they’re now screaming.

To which, their creators remain oblivious. There are some pretty terrible parents out there in the Sims universe BUT THESE TWO ARE HOT ON THEIR HEELS right now.

Hey, while these poor minutes-old creatures are stuck screaming in their Bouncinators while John presumably tries to create more problems for the family with his testicles, why don’t we meet them?

This is not at all named solely to give Alexander Goth a younger wife one day Cecilia! You can’t see them here because they’re squeezed shut in agony and anguish, but her eyes are deep blue, presumably from her grandfather Jeff Pleasant. Perhaps upon looking at her, her uncle Daniel will be overcome with the guilt referenced in his bio and try to send her to Mars.

And here’s Patrick! With his skintone plus the brown eyes and brown hair, he’s probably destined to be a John / Lucy clone, but we shall see. Let’s get one thing straight though (or should I say curly), when these anklebiters transition they are both leaping right into Jennifer Burb tousled waves territory.

Lucy: WHAT DO I DO

Don’t worry Lucy, we’ll pause this one here as it’s already been far too long a round and no doubt everyone involved is tired as hell.

Until next time!

[megamanxfanfics]

Did the Risk pay off?

Did you enjoy my little April Fool’s Joke? Did anyone even notice it??

Sorry about that. It’s not usually like me to joke like that, but the reason I did so was because its probably the last time I’d have the opportunity to ever pull an April Fool’s Prank about this project again.  That is to say, I am very confident that by next April Fool’s Day - 2022, I’ll be long done with Season VI.

It’s a little sad to say that, but mostly triumphant on my end. There was a little truth in that 4/1 post. I Did go on a Marvel bend and rewatch the entire MCU for funzies, and I was taking a long ass time on getting out Ep. 13, but believe me. I wasn’t over or burnt out from X at all.  I just needed a little time to figure out how to execute what I wanted to do properly.  I’m mostly satisfied with the turnout. =D

For those of you who haven’t read S. VI - Ep. 13 yet, I highly suggest you do so, because there will be Massive Spoilers ahead.  Since the tail end of Ep. 11, I set X up for a risky fanficky side-adventure.  And now that I’ve committed to it and it’s officially out there, the only question that’s left to ask is... Did the risk pay off??

First, I guess I should admit that my planning for the 2nd Arc was always hazy, even after finishing up Ep. 7, when X defeated the Nightmare Zero.

I knew in Ep. 8, we were going to have a lot of Zero getting reacquainted with the gang and that I was going to have to resolve the plot hole of X5′s Bad Ending, lining up with the way he acts in X6 - as a Zero fanboy.  So the returning Memory thing factored in big time.

Ep. 9 was Zero’s first mission out while X recovered.  My plan was to always have X get in that portal and face Dynamo.  But what would come after was a giant mystery to me.  

I didn’t want X to keep bumping into to Dynamo every time he got in a portal.  And I also didn’t want him to keep bumping into High Max either.  All of High Max’s dialogue and interactions thus far indicated that he wants X dead, and based off of the rules I set up for the Portal Dimensions, X couldn’t just leave in the middle of a fight.  That’s also not his style.

So in a way, I kind of wrote myself into a hole.  I’d either have to end High Max early, (which I didn’t want to do), or I’d have to get creative.

Then something clicked out of nowhere.  Something that could be very Nostalgic and Special, but would it work??  When X gets to the Fire Portal, he could face a Nightmare Vile from X1.  Then in the next portals, he could face Nightmare versions of his other bullies from the rest of the games. X2 - Violen & Agile, X3 - Bit & Byte, X4 - Double...  It could be great!  But what purpose would it serve other than Fan Service?

It’s a great question that I’m still asking, but ultimately - my alternative was to have X face High Max prematurely and lose [where it would be very hard to have High Max spare him.] Or to have X prematurely defeat High Max, which again I really didn’t want to do.  And Dynamo was way too injured to just keep taking beatings from X.  That’d get very boring and annoying very fast.

So I went for it.  It took 2 episodes to get there, but in Ep. 11 X took on Nightmare Vile...  And honestly, I thought it was great!  While he was doing that, Zero was facing Blaze Phoenix, which was equally exciting to me.

Honestly, in Ep. 12, I wanted to get right to it and call that one Nightmare Lane, but X & Zero needed to recover and I already had planned on them talking everything out, which I was putting off again and again.  That episode named itself once their conversation about X5′s encounter in Antarctica really got going.  I also really kinda loved that ending with X’s failure in the Inami Temple portal.

This set us up for Ep. 13, which I wanted to be an Action-Packed showstopper. So that was the plan all along for this episode, once I committed to the Nostalgic Nightmare idea.  My goal was for X to get to Double, and I made it there. It worked out.  But this is admittedly a very dense chapter.

Part of the point of these Nostalgic Nightmares is to show X’s growth after all this time.  He’s been whining and complaining this whole time about how the Nightmare is too tough, but guess what? He’s already so much stronger than he ever was to previous threats like Vile, the X-Hunters, the Nightmare Police & Double.  I felt like this could be a much-needed confidence booster for him, but also serve as a dual purpose for the bad guys to wear him down, psychologically.  Any excuse I can have to make the villains banter, I’ll also take.  I really like how this is all build up to Metal Shark, but will it pay off is the question?  Will I be able to stick that landing?  Time will tell.

I'm looking forward to writing Ep. 14. Honestly, I wanted to have a whole fight with Double and then some aftermath planned as the true closer to Ep. 13, but upon rereading, it was already dense enough.  [Frankly, it probably could’ve ended when Zero was about to set off to the North Pole Area, but that’s fine.]

Also, I really surprised myself with how good X’s meet up with Phantom was. [His Rescue Reploid name in the game was the ONLY reason for these MMZ Easter eggs.] But now I’m so happy that I’ve been including them, because I’m feeling a bigger picture coming about for when I end this Season.

Levy was just this flirty inclusion to spice up the Alia & X dialogue at first. Anything else with her would be a bonus. Fef became a very necessary device to keep Hal & Kassy safe, while they’ve been stranded in the Magma Area for so long.  Making him a junkie derelict was an interesting choice too. And of course, Phantom was in the Portal at the Central Museum revisit.  I always had this vague sense in my mind that X was going to have a very harrowing rescue mission that kept failing at every revisit, but then he’d bump into Phantom who was holding his own and he’d get this giant sense of hope. Boom. Grainy Effect. Episode ending right there on Phantom.

But of course, in execution that couldn’t happen with the rest that I had planned and that’s fine.  Still, I was surprised at their dialogue with each other. Phantom was really impressive and cool.  Just the premise of this exhausted warrior, whose resigned himself to protecting himself for days, only to bump into X and consider him a fool for getting stuck here with him.

But no. Now, Double has entered the Portal.  And X knows there’s a way out.

[I also never thought about the fact that Phantom would be stuck in the room with him during the fight, so now I’ve got some thinking to do.] lol

Harpy’s save will be next and I don’t mind spoiling that he’ll be in the Recycle Area.  [I did my best to keep to their elements, but the X6 stages didn’t really lend for that.]

Phantom was always gonna be in the Central Museum, because that is game-dictated. Levy could’ve been in the North Pole, I suppose, but the Inami Temple is ridden with females, so it made the most sense to me to make that her domain. Fef being in the Magma Area was spot on. I love that it was his old hangout spot - Dark Haven.  So teen-angsty/broody.

Harpy being in the Recycle Lab is kind of just a circumstance thing, but we’ll talk about it when we get there.

I wanted to go over the writing process to this one, but this is already getting quite lengthy.  I guess I can say that it was straight forward, writing through X’s battle against Violen & Agile. I always wanted Isoc to come in right after, to give us the hint that he’s Serges 2.0. But then, that revisit to the Amazon Area got draggy...  I did my best, but I had to make cuts.  I liked what I did once he got in the portal. His refight with Bit & Byte was pretty cool.  Bringing Marty into it was a fun choice. I did like, how X got his moment of catharsis after all.  [I know there’s a real lost-opportunity with not including iX, but honestly that’d be too much.  If I ever write iX again, I think it’s best if I save him for the Mega Missions series.]

This thing fell apart when I got to the Central Museum revisit. I didn’t want to write that at all... In my script, I had marks at the bottom of the doc for what he’d say in the other totems IF he revisited.  And here we weeeeere.   Yet again, I was in the same position as last year at this time, when I wrote out Ep. 3.  I handled it better, then!  Playing over and over again to find right parts of the stage I wanted to write was annoying.  I bet I missed out on Rescue Reploids too, or Zombie Reploids at this point, but it’s fine.  It’s been so long, they probably just died.  I could always edit that in post, that X passes a bunch of dead bodies.  That’d make for some spooky atmosphere.

At this point, I re-analyzed the entire chapter and decided it was high-time for Zero to wake up and go about his original directives.  Time to add to the layers. It brought parts to life, for sure.  It even cemented other transitions, which was really cool.  I liked that I gave Douglas something else to do other than just, be there...

Once I was actually writing Zero’s stage, it did start to feel like a different episode, but I had a goal to reach and damn it, I was gonna get there! lol What’s good about this is that it moves Zero along in the stage without it being a real pain in the ass.

And that basically takes us to where the episode left off.

For the broken Central Museum part, I wrote X’s interactions with Phantom first. Then, with every Totem, I caught up to it as I could.  Once the Zero layering came about, things pieced together.  Same goes for any extra Villain narrations. The episode definitely started a certain way, and I wanted to keep that up as much as possible.  While also having Alia commentary, when appropriate and necessary.

I like this one. There’s a decent balance amidst all the nonsense I set up for myself.  And I definitely think that all these Portal Revisits are more interesting for X’s Nostalgic Nightmare encounters.  It spins the premise around that they didn’t just create a Nightmare Zero, but also a Nightmare Vile, a Nightmare Violen, a Nightmare Bit, a Nightmare Byte and now a Nightmare Double.  The possibilities are endless.

Yes, X’s mission is a complete side-quest, but guess what?  It makes you think that if he didn’t do this, the Nightmare would be that much worse for everyone later, down the road.  It’s Preventative Action.  It’s pretty neat.

Also, again - every Investigator thus far has been relatively good, but mislead in thinking that X was the enemy.  So once he’d explain it to them, they'd be at a standstill, and pretty much at a loss for motivation.  Go figure that Zero actually battles the evil ones with Infinity Flea and Blaze Phoenix.  But he’ll get a real taste for the good/mislead dilemma soon enough with Blizzard Wolfang.

Then we’ll see how I handle Metal Shark when I get there.  I’m looking forward to it.  I can’t believe I’m almost up to the 3rd Arc already!

But that’s exactly what I was getting at at the beginning of this rant.  This is definitely gonna be my last Season.  [Unless we get an X9 that suddenly ends all cliffhangers.] So with that said, I think the Nostalgic throwback was the right thing to do.  Show us that growth and remind us of where he’s been in a short time span, before we end things proper in MMX’s final season.

I’m getting misty eyed thinking about it already. =P

I’ll see you next time for Episode 14.

[majorxbennyxboy]

TURN S4 according to someone who Has Not Seen It

(pieced together by random bits and pieces of things that have slipped the filters)

Arnold sends Ben this creepy letter like ",,,,,hey,,,,u wanna,,,,,,,,,betray everyone you love and come join me in bastardly traitor fun times,,,,I know you want to because when you tried to shoot me you missed, and that's always a sign of Fondness."

Which Ben is Not For so he's like :/

Richard decides he's going to Love His Son and also switch sides, which is Great !! because now the whole fam are Rebels together and Abe's got this Puzzlement Sandwich going on but he's also happy to finally have a dad. He's skeptical, but he Ready.

Caleb shows up and Abe just. Screams it to the heavens, "MY BUDDY MY PAL MY HOMIE CALEB BREWSTER GET A LOAD OF THAT ARNOLD BASTARD HUH WE SURE DID A GOOD JOB WITH OUR SPY RING DIDN'T WE WOW HAHA WE'RE GOOD"

Abe takes him home and gives him some tea. The cup is as big as Caleb's head and he is Very Cute holding the saucer in his two hands. Declines sugar. He's sweet enough without it. Accepts some whiskey.

He's like "hey you wanna pack up now let's go?"

But Abe Nopes that like "nah see I'm gonna be the Spyingest Spy. Me and the fam are Staying and we are gonna Wreck some Redcoat shite and it's gonna be awesome."

Richard chimes in, "do you and those soldier boys want to burn some stuff bc I can hook you up with a SICK bonfire if youre game"

Caleb is Game.

Washington's like "tallmadge why the *BEEP* didn't you tell me about this letter boi" and it's very Stressful but he's also kind of softly like "tallmadge occasionally does a good job wow"

GWash and Martha get. snuggly.

Ben and Caleb pop off to go destroy people and burn some hay and Ben's like "TAKE THE BULLETS OUT YO GUN GUYS WE GOTTA STEALTH THIS SH"

This redcoat guy alerts the entire fort but Caleb takes him the hell out and the boys blaze in and within about five and a half seconds they take over and set to burning hay. Caleb snatches some stuff like "man yeah I am making some cash today this is worth a fortune on ebay"

Ben is in Richard's house at some point in a heckin' coat.

Caleb goes to pawn his contraband but gets snatched by a weasle.

Arnold's like "you only say you don't like betraying your friends because you've never tried it. come on dude it's fun it's fun I swear you should do it"

And Caleb's like "um dude no hell in way. I'm not about that."

So Arnold conjures Simcoe from hell and that's that.

Simcoe goes "do you know why I like serrated blades?"

"bc u nasty fool"

Simcoe proceeds to behave very badly and tells an extended version of a story that was cut from S1E2 about how his father died when he was like ten and how his RageClown Tendencies are perfectly legit. Also he's just like "Ah yes do you remember S1E2? Those events make all of this okay. It isn't about revenge tho even though it lowkey totally is."

Cookie comes down like "YO MAN WTH ARE YOU DOING U BETTER STOP"

Meanwhile I think Peggy is going "marriage sucks." and Arnold is being a complete ass to her but she doesn't let it diminish her vibes that woman is a queen. And possibly pregnant I think.

She and Philomena run into each other and there's some sassing but Peggy's like "haha ? I will :) destroy you :D"

Boys work out a plan to get Caleb back and it entails swapping Abe and Richard over to the Redcoats and getting something like five-hundred pounds as well.  They got these two all tied up and some guys  come up like "Uh?"

Ben's a spymaster and has it Under Control and tries the ol' Smile 'n Wave routine. It does not work.

They get to the Prisoner Exchange and Ben's like "UM? Excuse you what did you do to my guy over there what'd you do to Caleb"

Simcoe plays pool while predicting the current events

and Richard gets frickin' sniped he's wasted it's over that's done the people SCATTER and everybody runs into a barn.

Mulligan slides into Rivington's inn like "yo Quaker boy. if you happen to be a spy, or something...u should def check out some new threads. *wink* we should talk"

Rob's having none of that. "you're creepy. get away from me."

And then Arnold comes in to straight up slaughter Mulligan and fling him everywhere. He's also like "WHAT IS UP MY PEEPS WHO DON'T EVEN WANT ME. NOT ONLY AM I A DIRTY NO-GOOD WHO BETRAYED MY FORMER PEEPS, I AM NOW PERSONALLY HUNTING DOWN THEIR LITTLE SPIES. TELL THE WORLD. *Flings glitter and drama as well as some shade*"

v uncomfortable cart ride back to camp and a Turtledove Cameo later Abe's like "ben i'm going back to sadtauket and burying my father, possibly myself, also contemplating revenge but not in a culper way."

Ben's like "...uh." and has no less than fifty tabs open but Anna Handles It.

Anna helps this little girl with a doll and everyone in camp ships Benanna. Ben starts thinking about what they can possibly do about this but Anna tells him not to do anything because it's a really good cover and also another box on the People Anna's Dated Bingo Cart the writers have been forcing her to carry around.

Abe buries his father while Thomas mills about chanting "dead dead dead dead dead" in the background and ten tells Mary he's going to kill Simcoe. She tells him not to miss, while bitterly regretting only taking off dude's ear.

????????????????

Selah turns up in Camp and, after miraculously not murdering Ben for the whole "allegedly dating my wife" thing, he's  like "wife. hello. so I've been Facing Reality and steadily accepting the fact that you probably don't love me and most likely never have but, we should still probably Discuss and see if we can work something out."

"Kay"

He goes to Ben like "she works for you' "uh" "she worked for you in Setauket" "uh" "does she still work for you" "uh" "boy" "I mean if you can convince her to go with you and manage to survive the discussion then by all means" "...kay."

Hewlett's Head of Intelligence and v Jaded but also working through his stuff. He's maybe looking at stars and at one point is like "hello soft quaker boy yes I am in love with stars. and myself. and that is Good. I have reached Zen but am also a somewhat Tortured Soul at this stage of the game"

"okay. you're weird. but okay. you do you lizard man. you do you."

A plan is hatched for Abe, who is Culper once again, to beat Arnold at his own game by pretending to turncoat, but not really turning. For some reason Ben's good with this??? idk but he's like "see youohmygod don't get killed please"

Caleb pops off to fetch Mary and is very cute with Thomas. And with Mary. They're all precious. Ben and Anna ride to meet them. They are riding double. With Anna as the big spoon. Hmmmm yesssss

sorry *coughs*

Ben meets Sprout and it's real hella cute for about five seconds.

Back in Camp Ben tells Mary "I gotchu, you're with Abe, you're family, I will take care of you. hmu any time"

And then he gets real serious into talking tactics or smthn to Caleb and Mary shows up in his tent like "hey can you"

and he loses it

"NOBODY SAW YOU DID THEY MARY I CAN't HAVE CAMP THINKING I'M DATING EVERYONE WHAT THE HELL MARY THERE IS PROTOCOL"

Caleb chills, uncomfortably, in the background.

Mary gives it back to Ben. "YOU HAVE TO TELL ME THINGS ABRAHAM IS MY HUSBAND"

"WHY DO YOU EVEN KNOW ABOUT THE SPY RING"

"HOW DO YOU THINK HE'S STILL ALIVE DUMBASS"

"OH MY GOD IT'S WORSE THAN I THOUGHT"

this continues for a few heart-lurching moments before Mary leaves. Nobody is happy. Not a single individual feels any joy, at all, in their life.

That Randall sicko is still alive and he's like "hey Anna."

she be Knowin "you're that guy Ben tried to take out last season"

"Yeah but that ruling went in my favor"

(WE'RE LEFT HANGING. OKAY, SO THEY DECIDED BEN WAS IN THE WRONG. SO? WHAT HAPPENED? DID THEY MAKE HIM APOLOGIZE? DOCK HIS PAY? DETAILS PEOPLE. HOW DID HE NOT GET DEMOTED???)

and Randall proceeds to tell Anna there's some kind of mutiny being planned.

At some point there is an actual mutiny but the people involved are stopped and arrested and brutally executed and it's a harrowing experience for everybody.

Abe Enlists with the Redcoats and gets this new bunkmate, Joe, who seems interesting. He also visits Townsend who's like "what the hell what the hell what the H E L L  PAY ATTENTION TO ME WHAT IS HAPPENING"

Townsend takes it upon himself to Snoop and keeps following Abe around and shows up at this party and Abe's just like "can you please not be weird Robert I'm undercover"

Cicero completely Outs Abe to Peggy and she's like "...ight."

Simcoe gets nasty and, as with everything involving Simcoe, there are sharp things involved.

Some fool tries to take out Hewlett and Hewlett's like "man I'm so done with everyone's bs this isn't happening today"

He and Abe somehow meet up and instead of killing each other they wind up plotting against Simcoe, something they both believe in.

Those Rebel Boys hatch a plan to expand the spy ring once again with this Champe fellow. He and Caleb pretend to fight, (DAMMIT CHAMPE BE GENTLE WITH HIM) and Ben pretends to be really mad about this and hauls them both to his tent for a Pretend Stern Talking-To in which they discuss Plans and Ben pretends to banish them both forever.

So Champe hops off to go meet Abe.

He's a pretty creepy-like dude and seems to basically be Rebel Simcoe.

Another plan is hatched, this time to get Arnold, but things go awry. Caleb's Struggling and Ben's Upset and once again nobody is at all happy, and it's horrible. absolutely horrible.

More sh goes wrong bc the British are like "right so you're all trained up, time for you go kill some rebel soldier bois" which Abe is less than enthused about.

So Ben's Thinking about this. "who the hell is going to fetch abe. Can't ask Caleb to do it. Anna can't go. Hm guess I'll have to" Anna is quick to point out "lmao ben do you want to be labeled a traitor bc that's what's going to happen you should just ask Caleb." Ben considers this. "...nah it's cool I'll just Resign and go Handle it."

Also Mary has discovered some form of traitor ladies and I think tries to barter the information but Ben's just like "ASHFAKJFHAK PLEES"

Ben hits Hamilton up and asks him to be the new Spyboss ("good luck my guy it's like herding ducks.") and Hamilton isn't so sure about this but Ben's Convinced it is Necessary, makes all the arrangements.

Caleb tho he pops in like "actually I'll take this one" in the biggest frickin miracle of a thousand years

the two have a Moment. a blessed Moment of Purity.

And then Ben flounces over to GWash to resign anyway and they both throw a MASSIVE HISSY FIT AT EACH OTHER AND IT'S HONESTLY EVEN MORE BRUTAL THAN THE "not my son" CONVO IT'S SO TERRIBLE and Washington decides, "well you can't resign. You are Fired."

because he is Ben Tallmadge there seem to be no concrete consequences for talking to the General the way Ben does in this particular scene, even though GWash could quite possibly have him fed to an angry sheep.

Caleb has a very Emotionally Moving convo with Mary and it comes back to help him out later.

Abe and Simcoe make eye contact and Simcoe's like "MURDER TIME YAY" and chases him. Abe tries to shoot him, misses. Chase resumes until Abe is cornered. AND CALEB JUST TAKES SIMCOE THE FRICK OUT HE JUST. NAILS HIM, KABOOM. +1000 FOR THE BLESSED BEARDY WHALER FLOWER MAN.

For good measure, Abe then flings Simcoe off a thing and the man slithers away in the time it takes Abe to get down there. Abe pulls a pistol on him in front of several other guys, none of whom notice, but then leaves without actually shooting the scarecrow.

Caleb shows up to talk to some Soldier Bois like "have you seen my spy" and they have but it's Champe. But !! they tell him some Stuff about where to find Abe and he's like "well that's good" and jogs on his merry way to find that Boy.

also Hewlett doesn't play he's all about "you killed my horse, and we're about to have a discussion."

Yorktown, meanwhile, Looms, and the Biggest Question is whether they'll be able to wrap this up without E10 being movie-length.

[buckygirl-fanfiction]

Sparks Chapter 12

Pairing: Bucky(POV) X Reader(POV) ft. other characters from the avengers team

Word Count: 3.3K

Summary: Bucky teaches y/n how to ride a bike. Sam, Cho, Steve, Wanda, y/n, and Bucky play drinking games. A hungover y/n wakes up in Bucky’s arms. Cute friend stuff idk.

A/N: This is a story about two people building a great friendship and then slowly falling in love. y/n is a strong, independent, and smart scientist. She meets Bucky when she wakes him up from cryo sleep and they become friends. This is going to have all the angst / best friends falling in love / fluff / drama / & eventual smut ;) that I can possibly fit in it. This fic is going to be looong! So far my document is like 40,000 words. So editing is hard If you catch any grammatical or formatting errors let me know.

December 11, 2015

y/n’s POV

“You don’t know how to ride a bike?” Bucky says disbelief lacing his tone. It’s friday afternoon and we’re sitting in the lounge with Cho, Steve, Wanda, and Sam. We’re all sitting on the huge sectional around the big flat screen tv watching some movie I haven’t been paying attention to. My legs are resting on Bucky’s lap and instead of watching the flat screen we’re talking, prompting everyone else to shush us periodically about every five minutes.

“No,” I say. I mean how hard could riding a bike even be? You just sort of get on and pedal. “I mean I know how, like theoretically. I bet if you gave me a bike I could ride it.”

“You know how theoretically?” He asks with a mocking grin on his face.

“Yeah, like you sort of get on and balance and pedal. Not that hard,” I say shrugging my shoulders.

“That’s what you said about swimming and remember how that turned out,” he says referring to the great swimming pool incident of Labour Day. Since none of us could go out and have any beach fun without attracting a horde of Captain America groupies, we decided to stay in and use the swimming pool in the tower gym. We all had a little too much to drink and I decided to prove that my theoretical knowledge of swimming could be translated into practice and I jumped in the deep end of the pool. Turns out theoretical knowledge sometimes doesn’t translate into practice.

“Well, hey I was getting there. If you’d just left me in there for a while I would have floated to the top… eventually,” I say letting out a laugh and getting shushed by Wanda.

“I had to save your life,” Bucky says suppressing his smile. Poot sober Bucky had to jump in and pull out drunk drowning me. It was actually hilarious.

“Hadly,” I say tossing my head back, “It was a swimming pool that was like 15 feet deep, I would have been fine.”

“That fact isn’t exactly helping your case. You almost drowned in a swimming pool…” he says mocking me.

“I was drunk,” I say defending my ability. “I bet I could ride a bike.”

“Well, you’re sober now,” he says, “prove it.”

I narrow my eyes at his challenge and swing my legs off his lap and get up from my corner of the sectional. “Fine, all we need is a bike.”

Thirty minutes later we’re outside. I’m wearing my grey windbreaker and a pair of leggings that are way too thin for mid December. The wind chill isn’t as bad yet but it’s still annoying. “Gah, it’s so cold,” I say shaking out my arms trying to warm up. Bucky is walking next to me with his scarily large looking mountain bike.

“If you’re too cold and wanna back out it’s not too late,” he says trying to break me down.

“No i’m great,” I say smiling at him. “Why do you even have a mountain bike? You live in the city what mountains are you biking?”

“You’re just jealous that I can ride it,” he says.

“OHhhh I can ride it,” I say a little too enthusiastically, “I am the queen of riding…” I train off realizing what I was saying. I narrow my eyes at Bucky who is laughing, “get your mind out of the gutter.”

“You ready?” he says gesturing at the bike. I look around the park to find it mostly deserted. Good I think if I fail and fall at least no one will see me. I sigh and swing my leg over the bike. I can totally do this. With my left leg still on the ground I try and fail to balance myself. Okay this maybe a little harder than I thought. But, I will not be proved wrong for the second time. Bucky stands a couple feet away with his arms crossed and hair slightly blowing in the breeze watching me intently.

“Okay,” I say before slowly kicking off and quickly putting my left foot on the pedal. I suddenly realize how much of a bad idea this was when I feel myself tilting to the right. I close my eyes waiting for the fall when I suddenly feel two hands around my waist holding me up. “Okay,” I sigh,  “maybe I don’t know how to ride a bike.”

He lets out a deep chuckle and tightens his grip around my waist for a second before letting go. I regain my balance and support myself and the bike with one leg. “I can teach you.”

“No,” I say. Don’t get me wrong but Bucky is a very shouty teacher. I’ve seen him training and he’s strict and somehow has an endless reserve of rude insults that he calls motivational.

“Why not?” he whines.

“Because you’re mean you yell a lot, I’ve seen you teaching!” I say, “I like you now. I might not after you shout at me.”

“You like meeee,” he teases playfully and I roll my eyes at him. “Okay fine, I won’t shout.” When I raise my eyebrow he adds, “I’ll be nice I promise!”

“Fine,” I say and watch him move over to the front of the bike. He grabs the handles and tilts me and the bike so i’m sitting straight. Jeez he’s strong.

“Just put your feet on the pedals and balance alright. Find your center of gravity,” he says. To his credit not once did he get shouty for the 2 hours we’ve been out here practicing. And let me just say I was a very poor student. Who knew it would be so hard to balance. I mean my lack of coordination growing up might have had something to do with it but I thought i’d grown out of my clumsy faze.

“Don’t let me go,” I warn him as a slowly pedal down the path. The sun has almost gone down and the sky is a faint shade of orange. “Don’t let go,” I repeat. Bucky is behind me with one hand on the handlebar and one hand on the back of my seat. I start picking up the pace but i’m still riding cautiously with fear because I do not feel like falling and breaking something today. I’ve been stabbed enough for one lifetime and my arm is still a little sore from the incident a month ago.

“I won’t let you go,” he says trying to reassure me. “Keep pedaling.” I begin to lose my center of gravity and feel myself tilt to the right. But I don’t worry because Bucky is behind me and he wouldn’t let me fall. Or so I thought. “y/n keep pedaling!” I hear him yell from farther away. When I realize he is no long next to me I suddenly begin to panic. With the combined loss of balance and me turning back to yell at him for letting go, I feel myself tilt over even more. That’s when I fall, I hit the pavement very ungracefully and painfully. You know what's worse than falling. Falling in the cold. Somehow the cold just makes everything feel about ten times more intense. I hear Bucky’s footsteps running towards me. I’m practically draped over the bike with the handle sticking into my chest. For a second I just lie there finding the will to get back up and let me tell you I wasn’t feeling it. I feel Bucky’s metal hand wrap around my upper arm and tug. “Come on,” he says.

“No,” I groan wanting to give up and lie there forever. If it wasn’t for the metal bicycle handle painfully sticking into my left boob I would have probably resigned myself to live here on the ground forever. I feel Bucky let go of my arm and hear footsteps walk around me to the front of the fallen bike. Then I feel his hands grip me under my arms and pull me up like a toddler who weighed nothing. “Owww,” I complain. This is totally his fault. Once i’m on my feet he puts an arm around me trying to support me up and helps me limp over to a nearby bench where he sits me down. If i’m being totally honest I wasn’t in that much pain. Just a couple bruises and a very hurt left boob. But I thought I might as well milk this and make him feel bad for letting me go. I watch him as he goes back to pick up his bike from the middle of the path and walk it back to me.

After a 10 minute walk back to the tower and a lot of over dramatic painful noises later we’re back upstairs in the lounge. The party is still there and now instead of watching a movie they’re play a drinking game. Well Cho, Wanda, and Sam are. Steve joins in spirit but he’s sober as a church mouse. Probably doesn’t help that his hyperactive metabolism doesn’t really let him get drunk on the usual liquor. That’s why Steve and Bucky are usually the most sober during our drunken escapades. Well sober as in slightly buzzed. I make my entrance as dramatically as possible limping towards the sectional in pain.

“What happened to you?” Sam asks as I wince melodramatically when I take off my windbreaker.

“She fell,” Bucky says rolling his eyes at the show. I can’t believe he doesn’t feel worse about this.

“I did not fall,” I say defending my position, “He let me go.”

“It’s a legitimate teaching technique!” He says trying to defend himself.

“I think you broke my boob,” I say holding the left part of my upper chest where the handle stabbed me. I slowly pull down my t-shirt’s neckline to reveal a slightly black bruise. See! I say looking at him with wide eyes. “I’m brown! I don’t bruise easily!”

Now I kind of see the regret in his expression. Good I think. “Well, i’m sorry but you were doing great until you stopped pedaling,” he says.

“Will you two stop bickering,” Sam says from the other side of the sectional.

“I stopped pedaling because you let me go!” I yell right back at him.

“Fine! I’m sorry,” he shouts back, “I’ll never let you go ever again!” Our little squabble has now attracted the attention of the whole room. “Are you happy now?” he shouts at me.

“Yes!” I shout back.

“Good!” he says.

“Great!” I yell.

“I’m gonna go get you a ice pack,” he yells before getting up and walking out of the Lounge. “Fine!” I yell at his back as he walks away from me. When I turn my head back to the four other people in the room I find them staring at me with equal degrees of raised eyebrows.

“Well… that was interesting,” Sam says putting down his shot glass.

“What are you guys playing,” I say looking down at the table they’re situated around. It’s covered in fake monopoly money, tiny green little houses, and a pile of unorganized cards, not to mention the shot glasses and bottles of various alcoholic beverages.

“We’re playing drunk monopoly,” he says with a smile on his face.

“What?” I ask him. Then he proceeds to proudly explain the very confusing rules of this new drinking game he just made up. “Come on play with us!” he says.

Bucky returns with the ice pack in a couple minutes just as Sam is trying to get me to join in on the weird board game he just invented. I’m leaning back into the cool leather of the sectional and he hands me the ice pack and sits down next to me. “Ehh,” I say to Sam, “I don’t feel like a hangover tomorrow.” I try and fail to balance the ice pack on my chest, I really don’t feel like holding it there all night. I sigh as the ice pack falls to my lap.

“Come on! It’s friday night!” Sam says trying to get me in on the game. “Where else could you possibly have to be tomorrow morning rather than hungover with your friends.”

“I have a birthday party for my goddaughter,” I say. One of my best friends from college just had a kid and named me god mother. “And I don’t feel like being hungover at a 1 year old's birthday party.” Bucky casually picks up the ice pack off of my lap while i’m talking to Sam and puts it back on my chests and holds it there for me.

“Come on!” Sam says not taking no for an answer.

“Fine,” I say giving in. The night takes an interesting turn after about 4 shots and 2 rounds around the boardgame. I get up and Bucky removes his hand the now warm ice pack off of my boob and I walk over to the table and sit down in front of it.

“Okay,” I say slurring a little. “I have a idea.” I grab one of the big red cups and start pouring a little bit of every bottle on the table into the cup. “This is called a suicide, it’s got a little… little bit of everything,” I say mixing everything together until the cup is full. “Who ever’s the loser of the next round has to chug the entire thing.”

“Yesss!” Sam says, “Whooooooo” before Wanda, Sam, and I gather around the board. The rest of them have been eliminated and Cho is passed out on Steve.

“Okay… okay…” I say slurring a little. “I’m still not entirely sure I even understand how to play this game,” I say laughing.

Bucky’s POV

“You’re going dowwnnn!” Sam says in a deep loud voice to y/n and Wanda. They’ve been playing this stupid game for half an hour now and laughing like a bunch of middle schoolers. Steve and I exchange a couple glances throughout the entire ordeal.

“Nooo!” y/n screams when she loses the 3rd round. Cho wakes up with a jolt at the sound of y/n’s scream and looks at her with wide eyes then starts to laugh. After about 2 minutes of them giggling at each other Cho passes out again on Steve's lap.

“You have to drink it!” say Sam holding the cup up to y/n.

“y/n,” I say before she has a chance to chug down the contents of the cup. “I wouldn’t if I were you. You’re not the best when it comes to handling your liquor.”

“Boooo,” Sam says to me and y/n chugs the entire cup and slams it down on the table.

“Gahhhh,” she says twisting her face. “God that was horrible. I didn’t think this would backfire so fast on me.” Then she proceeds to laugh again. After some more drunken antics and Sam passes out, y/n and Wanda proceed to draw on his face like the childish teenagers they are deep down. Steve has fallen asleep with his arms around Cho and Sam’s spread out across the rug. Wanda soon passes out on the other side of the sectional and I’m left with y/n sitting next to me resting her head on my shoulder. “You promise right?” she says yawning. “You won’t let me go next time?” I know she’s still talking about that dumb bike but somehow it feels like she’s talking about something more.

“I promise,” I answer and she stretches her arms and drapes herself around me and closes her eyes. I lean back down onto the sofa not wanting to peel her off me and drift off to sleep. We’ve never actually cuddled before. Although for friends we do share beds a lot. But we’ve always kept our personal space. I never imaged my first time holding her while she slept would be in a room full of two other drunk girls, Steve, and snoring Sam. I feel her hair on my neck and her breathing against my chest.

…

I wake up to a blaring alarm clock coming from y/n’s windbreaker that’s tossed behind my head on the sectional. I hear half the room groan and Cho yell, “Turn it off!”

y/n whines against my chest and buries her face into me trying to block out the sound. I reach over behind me and grab the phone out of her jacket and see the alarm clock read: Cece’s Birthday. I turn off the alarm and look at the time it’s 10am. I’ve got to get her up if she’s gonna get there on time. When I get up she rolls off me and onto the sofa groaning and covering her eyes. I look across the room to see Steve brushing Cho’s hair out of her face and Sam rubbing his eyes. Wanda is still out cold. “y/n get up you have to go to this party,” I say prodding her shoulder. She looks like a mess. Her hair in tangles and her face puffy, a beautiful mess.

“Nooo,” She whines again.

“I’ll get you some coffee alright,” I say climbing over her and off the couch. Sam gets up off the floor and rubs his face smearing black marker all of it.

“Noo, i’m not going,” she says rolling over and falling off the couch. “Owww.” She finally opens her eyes and narrows them at Sam. “I hate you,” she says.

“I hate me too,” he says scratching his head.

I pick her back up and help her back onto the sofa. “You know what. I’ll come with you and protect you from all the screaming one year olds.” She replies in a deep hum and falls back onto the couch rubbing her eyes.

Sam and I walk downstairs to the nearest coffee cart to grab some bagels and coffee for the rest of the hung over bunch who Steve is upstairs babysitting. “Man you are whipped,” Sam says holding a tray of coffee as we ride back up in the elevator.

“What?” I ask turning to look at him.

“y/n, you’re going to a baby shower with her,” he says raising his eyebrow at me, “what guy does that?”

“It’s not a baby shower it’s a birthday party for a baby.” I say trying not to confront the main theme of his question.

“Yeah yeah. No straight single man goes to a baby shower with a woman he just calls a friend,” Sam says as the elevator dings open to the apartments floor. “You know unless he trying to get some… you know” he says bumping my shoulder with his fist.

“Again,” I say trying to ignore his comments. “Not a baby shower.”

“What you doing man?” Sam asks me and for the first time i’m faced with that question. What am I doing?

“I don’t know, she’s just so pretty and I…” I trail off unable to finish my sentence.

“Whipped,” Sam says playfully again.

“What are you guys talking about,” y/n says wobbling down the hall squinting her eyes at us.

“Oh… nothing…” I stammer a little. Smooth Barnes.

“Oh, Bucky was just here telling me how he thinks yo…” I punch him quickly in the shoulder with my metal arm cutting him off.

“I was just telling him how I think we should leave now or else we’ll be late,” I look at him angrily and then back at y/n with a sweet smile on my face.

“Okay,” she says walking towards us still trying to keep her eyes closed.

I grab a coffee out of the tray Sam is holding and walk towards y/n and hand it to her, “here’s your coffee,” I say giving her the cup, “careful it’s hot.” She takes it from me and takes a sip and walks towards the elevators with me following behind her. I take a moment to look back at Sam and shoot him my most threatening stare and then walk up to y/n. I put my hand at the small of her back and guide her to the elevator and she drinks her coffee.

A/N : idk do you guys want a short baby birthday party chapter?

[jarlet-blog1]

9. The Confrontation ~ by Jax and Scarlet

Scarlet - Scarlet stepped into the steamy shower dropping her head as the warm water cascaded down her sticky body, rinsing the smell of burnt flesh that clung to her hair. The clear water turned a light pink, becoming a darker red the longer she stood under the water. Inhaling a deep breath she knew she was in some deep shit with the SAMCRO president but as she exhaled she couldn’t help but to feel satisfaction due to the earlier events. Since finding out about Otto’s murder Scarlet hasn’t had a single moment of peace. Her mind wouldn’t shut off, it haunted her dreams. There wasn’t a moment of peace for the newest member of the SAMCRO family. That was until her dearest friend @Theridinghate asked for her help. She knew she was twisted, she knew she was not normal. All her life she knew she was different but she couldn’t relax knowing someone took her father’s life until she took a life of her own. #Robert was not the man who took Otto from Scarlet but her taking his life brought her some sort of satisfaction. Think of it as an broke addict that is fenning for a fix. Unable to sit still, your skin crawling over itself, your stomach turning, having no energy but needing to hunt for that small fix that will not fully satisfy the craving but at least it takes the edge off. Scarlet used all the hot water trying to make sure all the blood splatter was removed. She washed her hair twice but she knew from experience the stench of flesh would take about a week to be removed. She shut the water off grabbing a towel wrapping it around her body walking to the bedroom not surprised to see Gemma sitting on the chair in the corner. Scarlet hugged the towel to her dripping body not really sure what to say to the middle-aged woman whose eyes laid firmly on Scarlet taking the last drag from her marlboro. Gemma exhaled, patting out cherry from her cigarette, her eyes never leaving Scarlet. “You okay sweetheart? There is some clothes here on the bed for you to tie you over until Jax and the boys get you home.” Her eyes followed her nod to the pile of neatly folded clothes. “Thank you. You didn’t have to” Scarlet stood uncomfortable in the same spot, water dripping onto the carpet soaking around her. “I know, but you are family we take care of our own here. Listen darlin’ I know you probably have had a shit life and doing things on your own is the way you do things but not around here. We do things as a family.” With that said Gemma walked out of the room to leave Scarlet alone to dress. Scarlet was feeling out of place, she wasn’t sure anymore why she was here. Yes she wanted revenge for Otto but she never needed help with something like this before. She felt like SAMCRO’S charity case. Letting out a sigh she picked up her phone and began texting @TheRidingHate ‘Hey David, Everything is fine but, well, I know you are busy with all your shit but do you want to come visit me? I have my dad’s house you can stay at with me. I guess I miss my best friend and could use your support. Things are a lot different here.’ Sending the text Scarlet went back to getting ready waiting for the president of the MC to lecture her. She used a brush she found to run it threw her hair, stopping to look at herself in the mirror. There was a SAMCRO emblem on the wall behind her that caught her eye. She was suddenly angry with Otto. She always thought he was trying to protect her from his lifestyle. Scarlet never held the fact that he wasn’t around against him because in her dreams she would have been better off without him. Two weeks she has been here and in that time she has heard the word ‘family’ used in reference to her more than she ever has in her entire life. Everyone has welcomed her with open arms and caring hearts. Why wouldn’t Otto want this for her? Scarlet questioned his motives staring in the mirror back at herself. Her knuckles turned white as she clenched the counter top when there was a loud bang on the door. Jax’s voice echoed throughout the room drawing her back to reality. She turned wanting to yell for him to leave her alone but she knew that would be stupid on her end. Scarlet opened the door faced with Jax who had not an ounce of sympathy behind his deadly eyes. “Darlin’ We need to talk… “ Scarlet moved back has Jax walked in shutting the door. Everything about this man screamed danger, yet somehow Scarlet knew the tall rugged man that towered over her could never intentionally hurt her. “I suppose you want an explanation for the mangled body in the van?” Jax nodded once opening the right side of pocket of his kutte pulling out a pack of smokes. He offered her one but Scarlet was only a social smoker. His shoulder shrugged as he plucked one from the pack placing it between his lips. His crystal blue eyes lifted to her saying ‘start talking’ without having to actually say a thing. “When people are in trouble, when they need something of this degree to be taken care of they call me. My best friend, my only friend @theridinghate was hurt. I needed to rectify it. The guys name is #Robert. A few months ago he set David's bar on fire. A good friend of ours was almost killed. The bar was a loss, everything he built was ruined. But it wasn’t until #Robert attacked his little sister, Haley. He cornered her in an alley. He um….well he sexually assaulted her. I am sorry I used the van, I am sorry I lied and used Tig, but it needed to be done.” Scarlet watched as Jax took a long hit from him smoke leaning back against the dresser. The way he looked at her was not in a way she had ever been looked at before. Jax was looking right at her but she could see he was looking inside her. His face was hard, his body tense. She wasn’t sure what was going to drop from his lips but she did feel connected to him. They both sat in silence for a few moments. She had wondered what he was thinking but she didn’t have to wonder for long. Jax - As the grey smoke billowed out his nostrils, they began to flare slightly as he thought about Scarlet out doing shit that he should have been taking care of for her. Besides her being Otto’s daughter he couldn’t figure out why he felt such a protectiveness over her. Shit, she had only been around two weeks and already, as pissed off as he was, the more he looked at her, the more intrigued by her he was. And if the pull he felt was similar of what he had felt for Tara when he was sixteen he was in big fuckin’ trouble. “Jesus Christ Scarlet. You know who I am right? This shit gets out that my guys are just randomly helping a chick cut fuckin’ scumbags up, I’m gonna have to answer to that shit. You get what I’m sayin’? I don’t know what you did before you got here but this shit ain’t gonna fly. You come to -me-, you got me?” The way his voice raised at her made him feel like shit but on the other side of that coin he was in the middle of his own shit with Pope and the Cartel, he didn’t need this shit on top of it. His eyes, now, narrowed and dark, stayed focused on the young woman standing before him. He was ready and waiting for a fight from her. Hell if she can kill a man like that poor fucker in the van, she sure as hell was going to put up a fight with him. Scarlet - Scarlet’s eyes narrowed as Jax spoke down to her, she inhaled a hard breath as if she was trying to keep her anger from steaming out. Her eyes flickered to the SAMCRO emblem then back to Jax as he scolded her for taking care of shit for her friend but it had more to do with the mixed feelings she was currently having about Otto and the damn MC. “I don’t give a fuck who you are, I don’t care if you think because I have a pair of tits I can’t take care of myself. I have been doing this my whole life. I was 17 the first time I killed a man and I would go back and do it again and watch the life leave the eyes of every man I have ever killed!” Scarlet snapped losing her temper quicker than she had ever intended. Jax didn’t scare her, the rise of his voice only seemed to challenge her to stand her ground with him. She was sure everyone could hear them argue but she didn’t care. She was used to being on her own so what difference would it make if she got kicked out of a ‘family’ she knew all of two minutes. “Forgive me for wanting to take care of my friends the way you people all claim to do here. David is all I have and I do not need /YOU/ trying to make me feel like it was a mistake. I didn’t need the help of your fucking men. They don’t need to help me. I can do shit on my own. I never had a family, I don’t need a family and I sure the hell don’t need you trying to control me. None of you… “ She stopped mid sentence feeling a small lump grow in her throat. Scarlet swallowed dropping her eyes from Jax who was glaring at her with fury in his eyes. His stance was stiff as he watched Scarlet quickly unravel before him. “You know what. It doesn’t matter. I shouldn’t be here. I don’t belong here that much is clear.” She didn’t say another word to him she shoved past Jax flinging the door moving past him only to be caught off guard by the rest of the men standing outside the door. There was no room for her to escape between them. Jax - There was no denying the shit Scarlet dished back to him was the truth. He had no doubt she could take care of her own shit and true be told, thinking about the way she fucked up the guy that now laid in pieces in the black van made his fuckin’ cock hard. He ain’t never dealt with such a hard core woman other that his own damn mother before and behind the mask of anger, this shit was turning him on. Ignoring the fact that he had to shift his stance to relieve the uncomfortable tightness in his jeans, Jax continued to narrow his pale blue eyes in her direction. His molars began to grind in the back and the sound resignated right up through his head. There was no way the king of Charming was going to let her know it wasn’t the fact that she could take care of her shit, but the fact that she didn’t seem to need him. Otto’s voice suddenly rang out in his head. The words ‘You bed my daughter, I’ll fuckin’ kill you Jackson’ played on repeat. The moment Scarlet had walked into ™, he instantly had an attraction to her and it was hard to mask that shit. Even Chibs had began to notice the way he seemed to look out for the girl. Jax was lost in his own thoughts until Scarlet forced her way past him, his teeth clenching as she stomped herself out the door. Reaching out Jax grabbed for her upper arm to pull her back, wrapping his rough fingers around her just as she came face to face with the other members of the MC. He supposed they were a bit louder than they thought. “E’erythin’ a’right Jackie?” Chibs questions, Jax raising his hand up as he yanked Scarlet back towards the apartment. “I got it. You guys get the fuck outta here.” As he spoke he felt Scarlet fighting again his hold with no avail. Kicking the door closed once again, Jax glared down at her. He was sure just from the look in her eyes she didn’t give a fuck what he said and she wasn’t in the least scared of him. Most women would have been crying and giving in to his every demand. But but not her. “Your ass it stayin’ right here. You fuckin’ got it? I have a responsibility to your fuckin’ father and I’m going to honor that. Your your stubborn ass can just listen or we can do this day after fuckin’ day!” Scarlet - Scarlet was yanked back into the room but not without putting up a fight, all eyes of the MC were on her just as the door kicked shut almost catching her heel. She shoved Jax in the chest catching him off balance. He stumbled back knocking his shoulder into the door. His eyes seemed to widen but it was not with anger. Yes he was upset with her but there was something deeper than that. She saw truth lying deep in his clear blues, she heard true words he spat out at her but Scarlet refused to believe them for herself. She never wanted to be cared for because each time in her life that she had allowed someone in it only caused her more pain. She was set on living and dying on her own. She always knew that the shit she did was dangerous. She never lied to herself about the possibility of her going after the wrong person and having her own life slowly leaked from her body. If she was honest with herself, she had secretly hoped for it. She left, she held no real purpose. She would hardly be missed but this is all a truth Scarlet would never speak aloud instead she hid behind her anger. “Your responsibility? Fuck that. I am my own fuckin’ responsibility. Don’t throw that old man shit on me, he didn’t even take responsibility for me so don’t give me that shit Jackson!” Scarlet took another breath huffing it out turning her back to Jax having no way out of the damn apartment they stood in. She couldn’t look at him, she refused to let him see his words caused her to be weak. Scarlet wanted to believe a man like Jax would really come in and save her from herself but she knew better then this. She scooped her hair up in her hands tossing it in a messy bun ready to fight her way out if she needed to. Scarlet didn’t want to turn around and face him she was terrified if she did she would fall for him just like the rest of the Charming whores she was sure fell to his feet. She was not about to drop to her knees for no man, especially Jax Teller. She heard his footsteps while she cracked her knuckles a nervous habit she has always had. Silently she prayed the door would open and shut, that Jax would leave her alone. Of course she wouldn’t get her way, she felt him standing tall behind her shaking her head she stood her ground. “Why won’t you leave me alone, don’t you have some whore waiting to suck your small cock?” Jax - His chest heaved as she stood with her back to him, his nostrils flaring at her actions but most of all her words. She might have been used to this kind of danger but he’d be damned if she was going to get hurt, or fuck even killed on his motherfuckin watch. Stepping in behind her as her arms flailed about as she tied her hair up, he could hear the sound of her knuckles cracking. If she thought she was going to give /him/ a fight, she had another thing coming. “This how it’s gonna fuckin’ be Scarlet? Huh? Am I gonna have to put a fuckin’ Prospect on your motherfuckin ass 24/7? That what you fuckin’ want?” His words spit out in low growls, his anger getting the best of him only because she was fighting him. He was used to this shit; The arguing with Wendy, Tara..his mother for fuck sakes. And usually they backed the fuck down without being too much of a pain in his ass. But Scarlet Delaney? Hell, this one was going to be tougher to break. “My fuckin’ whores can wait. I’m dealing with something more important dammit!” Grabbing her elbow he spun her around, her dark, furious eyes meeting his without a moment of hesitation. As his eyes bore into hers Jax could see more than he knew Scarlet wanted him to see. He saw the pain of losing her old man, the pain of the life she had been dealt, the upset of never having what she now had right in front of her; a family. He would be damn sure she wasn’t going to lose herself to this shit. And most of all he was going to make sure he didn’t lose her. Scarlet - Her mind screamed beat his ass for putting his hands on her but her heart called out don’t be a fool. Scarlet watched Jax’s eyes read her like a book, her breathing was deep, calmed and even but everything on the inside was a flare of red flashing lights telling her to look away, shut it off. “Stop.” The single word was hushed. It was a plea more to god to not let her fall for this man’s shit. She has been strong alone in life she didn’t want to fall to the mercy of the man before her. Jax’s gripped loosened but did not drop. “Why? Jax why would I be important? So my father was family to you, I was not family to him it makes me nothing to you.” Scarlet was finally able to break his breathtaking gaze, eyeing the door wanting to make another break for it. He must have noticed because his hold on her begin to tighten once more. “For fucksake Jax! I am not a goddamn child, I am not the bitches you deal with daily, I am me. And I don’t need you to save me!” A rushed wave of anger flooded over her once again trying to pull away from him but he yanked her roughly against him, her body crashing against his toned chest. Scarlet instantly tried to shove him away screaming at him. “Let me go! Fuck you and your prospects I don’t need protection Teller! You don’t want to help me get the man who killed Otto fine I will do it without you. Once it’s done I’ll be gone anyway!” Jax - “Not if I have anything to say about it.” It wasn’t planned or expected but as Jax pulled Scarlet in against his firm chest, his heartbeat started to pound in his ears. So loud he couldn’t even think straight but the one thought that was prominent in his mind as he stared down at this beautiful young woman was he wanted to force her into submission; where the dangerous shit was concerned and his cock. Fuck, he knew this was a piss poor time to have pussy on the brain but he knew it was more than that, something more was drawing her to him. He had yet to figure out just was that pull was. Without any more thought he tightened his grip on her, suddenly crushing his lips to hers, waiting for the wrath as his mouth claimed hers in the least unexpected way. He assumed she would push him away, fuck possibly beat his ass for being so cocky and forward but he didn’t care. In the short weeks Scarlet had been in their lives she was wedging herself into his complicated, fucked up life and he welcomed it. Scarlet - Scarlet’s eyes widen in total shock as Jax’s lips roughly crashed against hers. She had froze in place while his lips forcefully dominated her own. The way his hands slithered around her waist pulling her against him, caging her in had Scarlet melt right into him. Her lips parted returning the needy kiss matching his hunger. Her slender fingers found themselves locked in his dirty blonde hair tugging him closer to her. Her heart raced in her chest, her core ached for his touch making her moan into the kiss in a desperate plea for his touch. “Jax, you good?” The sound of Happy knocking on the other side of the door made Scarlet shove Jax back and without warning her hand snapped back, flying forward, slapping him across the face. She wasn’t sure why she had just done that, she wasn’t sure why he had just kissed her either. Scarlet has been anything but kind to this man. Her hands flew to her mouth covering them not out of shock from her actions but because the tingle that lingered from the pleasantly unwelcomed kiss had took hold of her. She stared at him, feeling the need to move back into his arms but instead she stood back unsure how he would react. Jax - The way Scarlet moaned into the kiss was a good indication to him that he wasn’t about to get a pointy boot to his nuts. His tongue urges her pouty lips open, lapping up the warmth from within, his body slowly reacting to the way she kissed him back. He swore he could feel the thumping of her heart right against his chest as she moved closer to him and he opted against reaching for her fine ass, the one he had noticed each and every time she waltzed past. Groaning heavily, his tongue lapped at her top lip, tasting the gloss that lingered on them until the sound of a deep, masculine voice travelled through the old wooden door of the apartment. “Yeah..” The blond biker called out to his Sgt. only second before her much smaller hands fell flush to his broad chest and shoved him causing him to lose his footing and stumble back. He should have been prepared for what came next but he wasn’t. The sting of the center of her palm connecting with his left cheek sent ripples of pain through him but he barely acknowledged it. He deserved what he got, fuck, she didn’t even know him or what he was really capable of. His rough, calloused hand rubbed across the stubble that had gathered at his jaw from days of not bothering to shave. His eyes, now softer than they were before, looked over at Scarlet, hoping she now saw an apologetic expression. “Babe..fuck, I’m sorry. Just…” He forced his eyes away from her, taking a few steps to close the gap between her and the door. “..ya need anything else, grab Gemma. I’ll see ya.” The rejection was something Jax wasn’t used to, christ he was used to women mauling over him but not her. Scarlet didn’t need a man to handle her shit. And in that moment as he threw open the door and made his trek down the dim lit narrow hall, he knew she damn well didn’t need him.